Discussion:
WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, January 2007--- Go Away Clueless Bird Brains
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Art Deco
2007-02-10 22:28:04 UTC
Permalink
BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
The winner is...ERNIE PRIMEAU!
13 votes Ernie Primeau
12 votes Warhol
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Ernie! It looks like the poster on alt.baldspot who is
getting "crazier and crazier" is you!
Oops! I forgot to transcribe a vote from my tabulation sheet to the post.
13 votes Ernie Primeau
12 votes Warhol
01 votes Neither of the above
This doesn't affect the outcome, but does better reflect an accurate
counting of all the ballots.
My apologies to the person whose vote I missed originally and my thanks to
that person for keeping me on my toes.
nightbat
Get this clueless auk trash off of profound science newsgroup
alt.astronomy and stop pestering my Science Research Team Officers with
your silly awards. Officer Warhol is one of the most illustrious Team
Officers I have and a net Chaplain to boot. Go elect yourselves auk bird
brains and leave my Green Knight profound Earth Science Team Officer alone.
get a clue,
the nightbat
frootbag accepts his awards!
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Art Deco
2007-02-10 22:52:44 UTC
Permalink
<music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"

</music>
The time has come to announce the winners of the January 2007 Usenet Kook
Awards. Envelopes, please!
<music>drumroll</music>
BOBO AWARD
The winner is...RICHARD SCOVILLE!
27 votes YES
01 votes NO
Congratulations, Chicken Dickie! So, how does it feel to be globally
humiliated for your kookery resulting in the loss of your defamatory and
extortionary kookshite? Oh, that's right, you won't read this--you're
completely net-dead!
BARDLEY ANNUAL "WHINING BABY NEW YEAR" AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
15 votes Andrew Chung
09 votes Antonio "Jabriol" Santana
07 votes Tom Bishop
02 votes None of the above
01 votes Richard Scoville
Congratulations, Double-Doctor! You managed to win yet another annual
award to add to your Rookie Kook of the Year, Coward of the Year, and
Kooksite of the Year for 2006. Are you up for a sweep in 11 months?
KOOK OF THE MONTH
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
13 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes Warhol
Always the younger sister left behind.
08 votes Rebecca Ore
02 votes JTEM of alt.paranormal
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, MonkeyBoi! You managed to defeat a perpetual contender, a
long-time suspected kook, and an up-and-comer through your utter
st00pidity. Imagine yourself in the position of Joxer the Mighty
vanquishing this month's fierce competition.

CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
16 votes Painius of alt.astronomy
13 votes Andrew B Chung
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Pain in the Ass! You now have your second AUK award and a
chance at the Clueless Newbie of the Year for 2007. May your cluelessness
not interfere with your ability to get it on with a hot Sea^H^H^H Space
Mermaid, should Darla ever bother to land the mothership.
Let the record also show that he beat one of the most formidable kooks
to come down the pike in quite a while, namely Andy Chung.
COWARD OF THE MONTH
The winner is...JOSEPH BARTLO!
11 votes Joseph Bartlo
09 votes Rebecca Ore
06 votes Steve Chaney
03 votes Painius and Bill Sheppard
You're still cowards.
02 votes Wabbit of rec.radio.amateur.policy
01 votes Avoid Normal Situations of alt.flame
01 votes Robert "Mop Jockey" Wolfe
00 votes None of the above
Congratulations, JoJo! I have only one thing to say to you--BAWK!
LOONEY MAROON AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
14 votes Andrew Chung
09 votes PorchMonkey4Life
08 votes Ernie Primeau
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations again, Double-Doctor! In what seems to be a race between
you and PorchMonkey4Life for awards this month, you managed to beat him
handily in head-to-head competition. Pity both of your heads are so empty.
GOLDEN KILLFILE
The winner is...MI5VICTIM!
16 votes MI5Victim
06 votes Mike "miguel" Cranston and Brent Armstrong,
06 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, robotic spammer! Too bad for you that the readers of 100+
groups won't read your conspiratorial screed, as they've dumped you into
the bit bucket.
JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
21 votes PorchMonkey4Life
11 votes nightbat of alt.astronomy
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations again, Porchie! You won impressively against one of the
sillier posters known to AUK by being even more silly, to say nothing of
foul-mouthed and idiotic. Oh, and don't stray too far from the podium;
your name will be called many more times!
Note the frootbag hasn't missed a beat this month so far.
BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
21 votes Andrew B. Chung
03 votes Notroll2007
03 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations a third time, Double-Doctor! Tell us (tinu) how you
managed to swallow Pope Snarky's hook six times on your kookshite's lits
o'haet without having a clue that it was the same fisherman each time.
PALMJOB PADDLE
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
19 votes PorchMonkey4Life
05 votes Ernie Primeau
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations a third time, Farky! You managed to be spanked by an
impressive array of kookologists, trolls, and kooks in the same month, to
say nothing of the paddling you gave yourself when you socked up as your
adversaries and had your forgeries flame each other. Why, that alone would
have won you the award!
TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
12 votes PorchMonkey4Life
09 votes Kathy Mosesian
03 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, st00pid Clerks fan! What, you didn't think we (tinw)
wouldn't catch the reference? Tsk, tsk. Anyone who can do a bad impression
of Jay at his most delusionally moronic can certainly outperform a woman
who repeated claims to be leaving USENET forever.
VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
11 votes Paine Ellsworth AKA Painus of alt.astronomy
10 votes Ernie Primeau
06 votes JTEM of alt.paranormal
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations a second time, Mr. Ellsworth! I wonder, in all the time
you were posting to misc.writing and rec.arts.prose, if you ever thought
you'd win an award for writing science /fiction/?
Bravo! "All energy is gravitational" finally gets its proper
recognition.
GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
22 votes Andrew B. Chung
05 votes Ernie Primeau
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations yet again, Double-Doctor! Your crusade to convert the
infidels of alt.atheism and the netcabal demons of AUK seems to have been
recognized--as a waste of time for you!
SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
13 votes PorchMonkey4Life
11 votes Azure
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations yet again, DoucheMonkey! All of your efforts to run up
your BI, along with your self-spankings, forgeries, and attempts to swear
without tripping the obscenity filters damaged you far more than they ever
did your opponents. Be careful not to pat yourself on your back for this
win. With your record, you're likely to dislocate your own shoulder!
TAR & FEATHERS
The winner is...PAMELA RUSSELL!
13 votes Pamela Russell
11 votes bob&carole
08 votes John-Paul Turcaud
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Fangirlfriend! All of your tireless and clueless
crusading on behalf of the King of Pop has paid off. Now, join Doc and
Marty McFly as they send the train hurtling off the cliff into Clint
Eastwood Gorge!
BUSTED URINAL AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
17 votes PorchMonkey4Life
09 votes The saucerheads of alt.astronomy
06 votes John-Paul Turcaud
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, yet another time, Howler Monkey! You don't need to dig a
latrine when you can throw your feces at everyone you see on USENET?
Don't feel bad y'all, your scat lames just can't hold a nose next to
those of monkeyboi.
UNABOMBER SURPRISE
The winner is...ANTONIO "JABRIOL" SANTANA!
18 votes Jabriol
12 votes Warhol
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Jabbers! Your individual posts may not be all that long,
but taken together, they certainly take up a lot of room without saying
much of anything except WAAAAAA!
Always so close, always just not enough. But there is still hope, you
screeding ways haven't abated in the slightest, fez-head.
GOOFY AZZED BABBOON
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
16 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes John-Paul Turcaud
04 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations again, Farky! When you forged Ying, you picked up all his
bad habits, added some of your own, and spelled it all in 1337! PH34R your
kooky incomprehensibility!
72 RAISINS "CRACKPOT RELIGION" AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
19 votes Andrew B. Chung
11 votes John-Paul Turcaud.
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Double-Doctor! You managed to be the first repeat winner
of the 72 Raisins by beating someone who created his own crackpot religion.
Now, tell us (tinu) again how people who disagree with you become demons
who have lost their free will.
BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
The winner is...ERNIE PRIMEAU!
13 votes Ernie Primeau
12 votes Warhol
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Ernie! It looks like the poster on alt.baldspot who is
getting "crazier and crazier" is you!
Just a single vote here!
ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
16 votes PorchMonkey4Life
07 votes Kathy Mosesian
02 votes None of the above
00 votes Max Varazslo
Congratulations, "Ying Collective!" Not since Brad Jessness was in his
prime has AUK seen such a doll party. Pity that you've used all the
teacups for chamberpots first.
BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
The winner is...PAMELA RUSSELL, TRAINED BY THE HATER CABAL OF AMMJ!
13 votes Pamela Russell,
trained by the Hater Cabal of alt.music.michael-jackson
12 votes PorchMonkey4Life, trained by Pope Snarky
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations to Fangirlfriend and all of her trainers! They managed to
help her win an unprecidented repeat KotY award and a three-peat of the Bag
of Coal and they deserved this recognition. Good work, haters!
EDMOND WOLLMANN MEMORIAL RUBBER TURKEY FOR NEW YEARS 2007
The winner is...ALEXA CAMERON!
12 votes Alexa Cameron
10 votes Brad Guth.
08 votes Ernie Primeau
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Queen of Screed! Your nearly two-week-long meltdown just
happened to climax on New Years Day, but it was enough to earn you this
special holiday award. So, what are you doing this Easter?
Hi, Alexa! [alt.alien.visitors added]
**SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT**
Two kooks have met the standards for a special award given out by executive
decision, THE TINFOIL SOMBRERO! Both have displayed insubordination above
and beyond the usual for USENET kooks and therefore have earned this
special recognition.
The first winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
Farky earned this award by giving out multiple bogus and lame awards to
kook and kookologist alike, including one to yours truly, the FNVW. He
also posted a completely bogus ballot in response to the one true AUK
ballot.
The second winner is...NIGHTBAT OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
The commander of the Pofound Earth Science Officers earned this award by
repeatedly rejecting the authority of the AUK awards over alt.astronomy and
issuing denials of awards that had been properly nominated, seconded, and
accepted by the FNVW.
Congratulations to both of you! May you enjoy your new headwear. which I
have made so you will wear with the shiny side out!
napoleon the frootbag likes to order people around.
We (tinw) now resume presentation of the regularly scheduled awards.
PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...Kadaitcha Man's faked death
24 votes YES
07 votes NO
Congratulations, K-man! While a faked death is the sort of troll that
nearly everyone has heard of, it's not one that people see more than once
or twice during their USENET career. You managed to pull of the troll of
your lifetime by pretending your lifetime was over. Cruel, but extremely
effective.
OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
15 votes Andrew B. Chung.
14 votes Antonio "Jabriol" Santana
Congratulations one last time this month, Double-Doctor. You managed to
defend your office against a repeat candidacy by one of the most determined
whiners on USENET. Keep those whines coming!
OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
14 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes Ken Pangborn
08 votes John-Paul Turcaud
Congratulations one last time this month, MonkeyBoi! By setting new lows
for st00pidity from a USENET poaster who isn't a pedophile truck driver
living in a trailer park, you unseated the longtime incumbent, a moron so
dense that he managed to win a vote for Clueless Newbie of the year two
years after he won it the first time. May your reign be as long as you are
imbecilic!
KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
The winner is...AZURE!
15 votes Azure
11 votes Warhol
Good job, Bl00boi! You held off a challenge from someone who claimed that
Saddam would rise from the dead after three days. Now, tell us (tinu)
again that you don't use Supernews as your NSP, even though the Supernews
name is all over your headers.
Bluie's html meltdowns likely turned the tide here.
MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
The winner is...THE SAUCERHEADS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
16 votes The Saucerheads of alt.astronomy
11 votes The anti-porn-star crusaders of alt.gossip.celebrities
Congratulations, Profound Earth Science Officers! Whilst you all wait for
the Seans to arrive so you can shag the hottest mermaids in space, keep
yourselves good and hard in preparation for their arrival.
They will.
This concludes the announcement of the winners of the January 2007 Usenet
Kook Awards. Forty-four people submitted fourty-one ballots. Five of them
managed to violate the rules in interesting ways: two people voted from an
altered ballot, one person voted for himself/herself, another voted for
himself/herself using an altered ballot (there's always a first for
everything) and one voted in the wrong thread. Fluffy was pleased with the
shredded paper in his litter box. Consequently, thirty-nine ballots were
deemed valid and counted.
See you all early next month, when the buzzards fly north of the Ohio River
and the crocuses begin to bloom. Until then, enjoy and all hail Ming, Bob,
and Fluffy!
And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
MonkeyBoi in the role of Joxer the Mighty. Watch Xena and Gabrielle pwn
him!
<music>"A Man for All Seasons"

</music>
Meow.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Henry Schmidt
2007-02-10 23:05:55 UTC
Permalink
Post by Art Deco
<music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
http://youtu.be/ra_9kgqn7DQ
</music>
The time has come to announce the winners of the January 2007 Usenet Kook
Awards. Envelopes, please!
<music>drumroll</music>
BOBO AWARD
The winner is...RICHARD SCOVILLE!
27 votes YES
01 votes NO
Congratulations, Chicken Dickie! So, how does it feel to be globally
humiliated for your kookery resulting in the loss of your defamatory and
extortionary kookshite? Oh, that's right, you won't read this--you're
completely net-dead!
BARDLEY ANNUAL "WHINING BABY NEW YEAR" AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
15 votes Andrew Chung
09 votes Antonio "Jabriol" Santana
07 votes Tom Bishop
02 votes None of the above
01 votes Richard Scoville
Congratulations, Double-Doctor! You managed to win yet another annual
award to add to your Rookie Kook of the Year, Coward of the Year, and
Kooksite of the Year for 2006. Are you up for a sweep in 11 months?
KOOK OF THE MONTH
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
13 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes Warhol
Always the younger sister left behind.
08 votes Rebecca Ore
02 votes JTEM of alt.paranormal
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, MonkeyBoi! You managed to defeat a perpetual contender, a
long-time suspected kook, and an up-and-comer through your utter
st00pidity. Imagine yourself in the position of Joxer the Mighty
vanquishing this month's fierce competition.
http://youtu.be/fKGyQRGiAKk
CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
16 votes Painius of alt.astronomy
13 votes Andrew B Chung
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Pain in the Ass! You now have your second AUK award and a
chance at the Clueless Newbie of the Year for 2007. May your cluelessness
not interfere with your ability to get it on with a hot Sea^H^H^H Space
Mermaid, should Darla ever bother to land the mothership.
Let the record also show that he beat one of the most formidable kooks
to come down the pike in quite a while, namely Andy Chung.
COWARD OF THE MONTH
The winner is...JOSEPH BARTLO!
11 votes Joseph Bartlo
09 votes Rebecca Ore
06 votes Steve Chaney
03 votes Painius and Bill Sheppard
You're still cowards.
02 votes Wabbit of rec.radio.amateur.policy
01 votes Avoid Normal Situations of alt.flame
01 votes Robert "Mop Jockey" Wolfe
00 votes None of the above
Congratulations, JoJo! I have only one thing to say to you--BAWK!
LOONEY MAROON AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
14 votes Andrew Chung
09 votes PorchMonkey4Life
08 votes Ernie Primeau
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations again, Double-Doctor! In what seems to be a race between
you and PorchMonkey4Life for awards this month, you managed to beat him
handily in head-to-head competition. Pity both of your heads are so empty.
GOLDEN KILLFILE
The winner is...MI5VICTIM!
16 votes MI5Victim
06 votes Mike "miguel" Cranston and Brent Armstrong,
06 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, robotic spammer! Too bad for you that the readers of 100+
groups won't read your conspiratorial screed, as they've dumped you into
the bit bucket.
JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
21 votes PorchMonkey4Life
11 votes nightbat of alt.astronomy
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations again, Porchie! You won impressively against one of the
sillier posters known to AUK by being even more silly, to say nothing of
foul-mouthed and idiotic. Oh, and don't stray too far from the podium;
your name will be called many more times!
Note the frootbag hasn't missed a beat this month so far.
Frootloop, what species of c0ck is currently up your as$? Just curious..
Post by Art Deco
BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
21 votes Andrew B. Chung
03 votes Notroll2007
03 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations a third time, Double-Doctor! Tell us (tinu) how you
managed to swallow Pope Snarky's hook six times on your kookshite's lits
o'haet without having a clue that it was the same fisherman each time.
PALMJOB PADDLE
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
19 votes PorchMonkey4Life
05 votes Ernie Primeau
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations a third time, Farky! You managed to be spanked by an
impressive array of kookologists, trolls, and kooks in the same month, to
say nothing of the paddling you gave yourself when you socked up as your
adversaries and had your forgeries flame each other. Why, that alone would
have won you the award!
TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
12 votes PorchMonkey4Life
09 votes Kathy Mosesian
03 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, st00pid Clerks fan! What, you didn't think we (tinw)
wouldn't catch the reference? Tsk, tsk. Anyone who can do a bad impression
of Jay at his most delusionally moronic can certainly outperform a woman
who repeated claims to be leaving USENET forever.
VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
11 votes Paine Ellsworth AKA Painus of alt.astronomy
10 votes Ernie Primeau
06 votes JTEM of alt.paranormal
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations a second time, Mr. Ellsworth! I wonder, in all the time
you were posting to misc.writing and rec.arts.prose, if you ever thought
you'd win an award for writing science /fiction/?
Bravo! "All energy is gravitational" finally gets its proper
recognition.
GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
22 votes Andrew B. Chung
05 votes Ernie Primeau
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations yet again, Double-Doctor! Your crusade to convert the
infidels of alt.atheism and the netcabal demons of AUK seems to have been
recognized--as a waste of time for you!
SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
13 votes PorchMonkey4Life
11 votes Azure
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations yet again, DoucheMonkey! All of your efforts to run up
your BI, along with your self-spankings, forgeries, and attempts to swear
without tripping the obscenity filters damaged you far more than they ever
did your opponents. Be careful not to pat yourself on your back for this
win. With your record, you're likely to dislocate your own shoulder!
TAR & FEATHERS
The winner is...PAMELA RUSSELL!
13 votes Pamela Russell
11 votes bob&carole
08 votes John-Paul Turcaud
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Fangirlfriend! All of your tireless and clueless
crusading on behalf of the King of Pop has paid off. Now, join Doc and
Marty McFly as they send the train hurtling off the cliff into Clint
Eastwood Gorge!
BUSTED URINAL AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
17 votes PorchMonkey4Life
09 votes The saucerheads of alt.astronomy
06 votes John-Paul Turcaud
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, yet another time, Howler Monkey! You don't need to dig a
latrine when you can throw your feces at everyone you see on USENET?
Don't feel bad y'all, your scat lames just can't hold a nose next to
those of monkeyboi.
word to big muthaf8cking bird!! ***@mmit!! Your cheerleading b1tch routine
is getting a bit old. Have you anything interesting to say? if not STFU.
Post by Art Deco
UNABOMBER SURPRISE
The winner is...ANTONIO "JABRIOL" SANTANA!
18 votes Jabriol
12 votes Warhol
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Jabbers! Your individual posts may not be all that long,
but taken together, they certainly take up a lot of room without saying
much of anything except WAAAAAA!
Always so close, always just not enough. But there is still hope, you
screeding ways haven't abated in the slightest, fez-head.
GOOFY AZZED BABBOON
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
16 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes John-Paul Turcaud
04 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations again, Farky! When you forged Ying, you picked up all his
bad habits, added some of your own, and spelled it all in 1337! PH34R your
kooky incomprehensibility!
72 RAISINS "CRACKPOT RELIGION" AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
19 votes Andrew B. Chung
11 votes John-Paul Turcaud.
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Double-Doctor! You managed to be the first repeat winner
of the 72 Raisins by beating someone who created his own crackpot religion.
Now, tell us (tinu) again how people who disagree with you become demons
who have lost their free will.
BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
The winner is...ERNIE PRIMEAU!
13 votes Ernie Primeau
12 votes Warhol
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Ernie! It looks like the poster on alt.baldspot who is
getting "crazier and crazier" is you!
Just a single vote here!
ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
16 votes PorchMonkey4Life
07 votes Kathy Mosesian
02 votes None of the above
00 votes Max Varazslo
Congratulations, "Ying Collective!" Not since Brad Jessness was in his
prime has AUK seen such a doll party. Pity that you've used all the
teacups for chamberpots first.
BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
The winner is...PAMELA RUSSELL, TRAINED BY THE HATER CABAL OF AMMJ!
13 votes Pamela Russell,
trained by the Hater Cabal of alt.music.michael-jackson
12 votes PorchMonkey4Life, trained by Pope Snarky
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations to Fangirlfriend and all of her trainers! They managed to
help her win an unprecidented repeat KotY award and a three-peat of the Bag
of Coal and they deserved this recognition. Good work, haters!
EDMOND WOLLMANN MEMORIAL RUBBER TURKEY FOR NEW YEARS 2007
The winner is...ALEXA CAMERON!
12 votes Alexa Cameron
10 votes Brad Guth.
08 votes Ernie Primeau
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Queen of Screed! Your nearly two-week-long meltdown just
happened to climax on New Years Day, but it was enough to earn you this
special holiday award. So, what are you doing this Easter?
Hi, Alexa! [alt.alien.visitors added]
**SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT**
Two kooks have met the standards for a special award given out by executive
decision, THE TINFOIL SOMBRERO! Both have displayed insubordination above
and beyond the usual for USENET kooks and therefore have earned this
special recognition.
The first winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
Farky earned this award by giving out multiple bogus and lame awards to
kook and kookologist alike, including one to yours truly, the FNVW. He
also posted a completely bogus ballot in response to the one true AUK
ballot.
The second winner is...NIGHTBAT OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
The commander of the Pofound Earth Science Officers earned this award by
repeatedly rejecting the authority of the AUK awards over alt.astronomy and
issuing denials of awards that had been properly nominated, seconded, and
accepted by the FNVW.
Congratulations to both of you! May you enjoy your new headwear. which I
have made so you will wear with the shiny side out!
napoleon the frootbag likes to order people around.
We (tinw) now resume presentation of the regularly scheduled awards.
PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...Kadaitcha Man's faked death
24 votes YES
07 votes NO
Congratulations, K-man! While a faked death is the sort of troll that
nearly everyone has heard of, it's not one that people see more than once
or twice during their USENET career. You managed to pull of the troll of
your lifetime by pretending your lifetime was over. Cruel, but extremely
effective.
OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
15 votes Andrew B. Chung.
14 votes Antonio "Jabriol" Santana
Congratulations one last time this month, Double-Doctor. You managed to
defend your office against a repeat candidacy by one of the most determined
whiners on USENET. Keep those whines coming!
OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
14 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes Ken Pangborn
08 votes John-Paul Turcaud
Congratulations one last time this month, MonkeyBoi! By setting new lows
for st00pidity from a USENET poaster who isn't a pedophile truck driver
living in a trailer park, you unseated the longtime incumbent, a moron so
dense that he managed to win a vote for Clueless Newbie of the year two
years after he won it the first time. May your reign be as long as you are
imbecilic!
KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
The winner is...AZURE!
15 votes Azure
11 votes Warhol
Good job, Bl00boi! You held off a challenge from someone who claimed that
Saddam would rise from the dead after three days. Now, tell us (tinu)
again that you don't use Supernews as your NSP, even though the Supernews
name is all over your headers.
Bluie's html meltdowns likely turned the tide here.
MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
The winner is...THE SAUCERHEADS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
16 votes The Saucerheads of alt.astronomy
11 votes The anti-porn-star crusaders of alt.gossip.celebrities
Congratulations, Profound Earth Science Officers! Whilst you all wait for
the Seans to arrive so you can shag the hottest mermaids in space, keep
yourselves good and hard in preparation for their arrival.
They will.
This concludes the announcement of the winners of the January 2007 Usenet
Kook Awards. Forty-four people submitted fourty-one ballots. Five of them
managed to violate the rules in interesting ways: two people voted from an
altered ballot, one person voted for himself/herself, another voted for
himself/herself using an altered ballot (there's always a first for
everything) and one voted in the wrong thread. Fluffy was pleased with the
shredded paper in his litter box. Consequently, thirty-nine ballots were
deemed valid and counted.
See you all early next month, when the buzzards fly north of the Ohio River
and the crocuses begin to bloom. Until then, enjoy and all hail Ming, Bob,
and Fluffy!
And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
MonkeyBoi in the role of Joxer the Mighty. Watch Xena and Gabrielle pwn
him!
<music>"A Man for All Seasons"
http://youtu.be/et2G44-7C7U
</music>
Meow.
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-10 23:47:52 UTC
Permalink
Post by Art Deco
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
16 votes Painius of alt.astronomy
13 votes Andrew B Chung
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Pain in the Ass! You now have your second AUK award and a
chance at the Clueless Newbie of the Year for 2007. May your cluelessness
not interfere with your ability to get it on with a hot Sea^H^H^H Space
Mermaid, should Darla ever bother to land the mothership.
Let the record also show that he beat one of the most formidable kooks
to come down the pike in quite a while, namely Andy Chung
I can't wait to see his acceptance speech!
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Packrat®
2007-02-13 04:42:20 UTC
Permalink
Post by Art Deco
<music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
http://youtu.be/ra_9kgqn7DQ
</music>
The time has come to announce the winners of the January 2007 Usenet
Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
<music>drumroll</music>
BOBO AWARD
The winner is...RICHARD SCOVILLE!
27 votes YES
01 votes NO
Congratulations, Chicken Dickie! So, how does it feel to be globally
humiliated for your kookery resulting in the loss of your defamatory and
extortionary kookshite? Oh, that's right, you won't read this--you're
completely net-dead!
BARDLEY ANNUAL "WHINING BABY NEW YEAR" AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
15 votes Andrew Chung
09 votes Antonio "Jabriol" Santana
07 votes Tom Bishop
02 votes None of the above
01 votes Richard Scoville
Congratulations, Double-Doctor! You managed to win yet another annual
award to add to your Rookie Kook of the Year, Coward of the Year, and
Kooksite of the Year for 2006. Are you up for a sweep in 11 months?
KOOK OF THE MONTH
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
13 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes Warhol
Always the younger sister left behind.
08 votes Rebecca Ore
02 votes JTEM of alt.paranormal
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, MonkeyBoi! You managed to defeat a perpetual
contender, a long-time suspected kook, and an up-and-comer through your
utter st00pidity. Imagine yourself in the position of Joxer the Mighty
vanquishing this month's fierce competition.
http://youtu.be/fKGyQRGiAKk
CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
16 votes Painius of alt.astronomy
13 votes Andrew B Chung
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Pain in the Ass! You now have your second AUK award
and a chance at the Clueless Newbie of the Year for 2007. May your
cluelessness not interfere with your ability to get it on with a hot
Sea^H^H^H Space Mermaid, should Darla ever bother to land the
mothership.
Let the record also show that he beat one of the most formidable kooks
to come down the pike in quite a while, namely Andy Chung.
COWARD OF THE MONTH
The winner is...JOSEPH BARTLO!
11 votes Joseph Bartlo
09 votes Rebecca Ore
06 votes Steve Chaney
03 votes Painius and Bill Sheppard
You're still cowards.
02 votes Wabbit of rec.radio.amateur.policy
01 votes Avoid Normal Situations of alt.flame
01 votes Robert "Mop Jockey" Wolfe
00 votes None of the above
Congratulations, JoJo! I have only one thing to say to you--BAWK!
LOONEY MAROON AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
14 votes Andrew Chung
09 votes PorchMonkey4Life
08 votes Ernie Primeau
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations again, Double-Doctor! In what seems to be a race
between you and PorchMonkey4Life for awards this month, you managed to
beat him handily in head-to-head competition. Pity both of your heads
are so empty.
GOLDEN KILLFILE
The winner is...MI5VICTIM!
16 votes MI5Victim
06 votes Mike "miguel" Cranston and Brent Armstrong,
06 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, robotic spammer! Too bad for you that the readers of
100+ groups won't read your conspiratorial screed, as they've dumped you
into the bit bucket.
JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
21 votes PorchMonkey4Life
11 votes nightbat of alt.astronomy
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations again, Porchie! You won impressively against one of the
sillier posters known to AUK by being even more silly, to say nothing of
foul-mouthed and idiotic. Oh, and don't stray too far from the podium;
your name will be called many more times!
Note the frootbag hasn't missed a beat this month so far.
BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
21 votes Andrew B. Chung
03 votes Notroll2007
03 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations a third time, Double-Doctor! Tell us (tinu) how you
managed to swallow Pope Snarky's hook six times on your kookshite's lits
o'haet without having a clue that it was the same fisherman each time.
PALMJOB PADDLE
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
19 votes PorchMonkey4Life
05 votes Ernie Primeau
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations a third time, Farky! You managed to be spanked by an
impressive array of kookologists, trolls, and kooks in the same month,
to say nothing of the paddling you gave yourself when you socked up as
your adversaries and had your forgeries flame each other. Why, that
alone would have won you the award!
TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
12 votes PorchMonkey4Life
09 votes Kathy Mosesian
03 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, st00pid Clerks fan! What, you didn't think we (tinw)
wouldn't catch the reference? Tsk, tsk. Anyone who can do a bad
impression of Jay at his most delusionally moronic can certainly
outperform a woman who repeated claims to be leaving USENET forever.
VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
11 votes Paine Ellsworth AKA Painus of alt.astronomy
10 votes Ernie Primeau
06 votes JTEM of alt.paranormal
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations a second time, Mr. Ellsworth! I wonder, in all the time
you were posting to misc.writing and rec.arts.prose, if you ever thought
you'd win an award for writing science /fiction/?
Bravo! "All energy is gravitational" finally gets its proper
recognition.
GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
22 votes Andrew B. Chung
05 votes Ernie Primeau
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations yet again, Double-Doctor! Your crusade to convert the
infidels of alt.atheism and the netcabal demons of AUK seems to have
been recognized--as a waste of time for you!
SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
13 votes PorchMonkey4Life
11 votes Azure
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations yet again, DoucheMonkey! All of your efforts to run up
your BI, along with your self-spankings, forgeries, and attempts to
swear without tripping the obscenity filters damaged you far more than
they ever did your opponents. Be careful not to pat yourself on your
back for this win. With your record, you're likely to dislocate your
own shoulder!
TAR & FEATHERS
The winner is...PAMELA RUSSELL!
13 votes Pamela Russell
11 votes bob&carole
08 votes John-Paul Turcaud
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Fangirlfriend! All of your tireless and clueless
crusading on behalf of the King of Pop has paid off. Now, join Doc and
Marty McFly as they send the train hurtling off the cliff into Clint
Eastwood Gorge!
BUSTED URINAL AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
17 votes PorchMonkey4Life
09 votes The saucerheads of alt.astronomy
06 votes John-Paul Turcaud
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, yet another time, Howler Monkey! You don't need to dig
a latrine when you can throw your feces at everyone you see on USENET?
Don't feel bad y'all, your scat lames just can't hold a nose next to
those of monkeyboi.
UNABOMBER SURPRISE
The winner is...ANTONIO "JABRIOL" SANTANA!
18 votes Jabriol
12 votes Warhol
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Jabbers! Your individual posts may not be all that
long, but taken together, they certainly take up a lot of room without
saying much of anything except WAAAAAA!
Always so close, always just not enough. But there is still hope, you
screeding ways haven't abated in the slightest, fez-head.
GOOFY AZZED BABBOON
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
16 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes John-Paul Turcaud
04 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations again, Farky! When you forged Ying, you picked up all
his bad habits, added some of your own, and spelled it all in 1337!
PH34R your kooky incomprehensibility!
72 RAISINS "CRACKPOT RELIGION" AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
19 votes Andrew B. Chung
11 votes John-Paul Turcaud.
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Double-Doctor! You managed to be the first repeat
winner of the 72 Raisins by beating someone who created his own crackpot
religion. Now, tell us (tinu) again how people who disagree with you
become demons who have lost their free will.
BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
The winner is...ERNIE PRIMEAU!
13 votes Ernie Primeau
12 votes Warhol
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Ernie! It looks like the poster on alt.baldspot who is
getting "crazier and crazier" is you!
Just a single vote here!
ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
16 votes PorchMonkey4Life
07 votes Kathy Mosesian
02 votes None of the above
00 votes Max Varazslo
Congratulations, "Ying Collective!" Not since Brad Jessness was in his
prime has AUK seen such a doll party. Pity that you've used all the
teacups for chamberpots first.
BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
The winner is...PAMELA RUSSELL, TRAINED BY THE HATER CABAL OF AMMJ!
13 votes Pamela Russell,
trained by the Hater Cabal of alt.music.michael-jackson
12 votes PorchMonkey4Life, trained by Pope Snarky
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations to Fangirlfriend and all of her trainers! They managed
to help her win an unprecidented repeat KotY award and a three-peat of
the Bag of Coal and they deserved this recognition. Good work, haters!
EDMOND WOLLMANN MEMORIAL RUBBER TURKEY FOR NEW YEARS 2007
The winner is...ALEXA CAMERON!
12 votes Alexa Cameron
10 votes Brad Guth.
08 votes Ernie Primeau
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Queen of Screed! Your nearly two-week-long meltdown
just happened to climax on New Years Day, but it was enough to earn you
this special holiday award. So, what are you doing this Easter?
Hi, Alexa! [alt.alien.visitors added]
**SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT**
Two kooks have met the standards for a special award given out by
executive decision, THE TINFOIL SOMBRERO! Both have displayed
insubordination above and beyond the usual for USENET kooks and
therefore have earned this special recognition.
The first winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
Farky earned this award by giving out multiple bogus and lame awards to
kook and kookologist alike, including one to yours truly, the FNVW. He
also posted a completely bogus ballot in response to the one true AUK
ballot.
The second winner is...NIGHTBAT OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
The commander of the Pofound Earth Science Officers earned this award by
repeatedly rejecting the authority of the AUK awards over alt.astronomy
and issuing denials of awards that had been properly nominated,
seconded, and accepted by the FNVW.
Congratulations to both of you! May you enjoy your new headwear. which
I have made so you will wear with the shiny side out!
napoleon the frootbag likes to order people around.
We (tinw) now resume presentation of the regularly scheduled awards.
PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...Kadaitcha Man's faked death
24 votes YES
07 votes NO
Congratulations, K-man! While a faked death is the sort of troll that
nearly everyone has heard of, it's not one that people see more than
once or twice during their USENET career. You managed to pull of the
troll of your lifetime by pretending your lifetime was over. Cruel, but
extremely effective.
OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
15 votes Andrew B. Chung.
14 votes Antonio "Jabriol" Santana
Congratulations one last time this month, Double-Doctor. You managed to
defend your office against a repeat candidacy by one of the most
determined whiners on USENET. Keep those whines coming!
OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
14 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes Ken Pangborn
08 votes John-Paul Turcaud
Congratulations one last time this month, MonkeyBoi! By setting new
lows for st00pidity from a USENET poaster who isn't a pedophile truck
driver living in a trailer park, you unseated the longtime incumbent, a
moron so dense that he managed to win a vote for Clueless Newbie of the
year two years after he won it the first time. May your reign be as
long as you are imbecilic!
KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
The winner is...AZURE!
15 votes Azure
11 votes Warhol
Good job, Bl00boi! You held off a challenge from someone who claimed
that Saddam would rise from the dead after three days. Now, tell us
(tinu) again that you don't use Supernews as your NSP, even though the
Supernews name is all over your headers.
Bluie's html meltdowns likely turned the tide here.
MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
The winner is...THE SAUCERHEADS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
16 votes The Saucerheads of alt.astronomy
11 votes The anti-porn-star crusaders of alt.gossip.celebrities
Congratulations, Profound Earth Science Officers! Whilst you all wait
for the Seans to arrive so you can shag the hottest mermaids in space,
keep yourselves good and hard in preparation for their arrival.
They will.
This concludes the announcement of the winners of the January 2007
Usenet Kook Awards. Forty-four people submitted fourty-one ballots.
Five of them managed to violate the rules in interesting ways: two
people voted from an altered ballot, one person voted for
himself/herself, another voted for himself/herself using an altered
ballot (there's always a first for everything) and one voted in the
wrong thread. Fluffy was pleased with the shredded paper in his litter
box. Consequently, thirty-nine ballots were deemed valid and counted.
See you all early next month, when the buzzards fly north of the Ohio
River and the crocuses begin to bloom. Until then, enjoy and all hail
Ming, Bob, and Fluffy!
And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
MonkeyBoi in the role of Joxer the Mighty. Watch Xena and Gabrielle pwn
him!
<music>"A Man for All Seasons"
http://youtu.be/et2G44-7C7U
</music>
Meow.
Bartlo and Alexa, Alexa and Bartlo.
Who said there are no constants in the universe?

(Hmmm... I think both of them have said that)
--
jpac


"El sol salió anoche y me cantó!"

"Please do not annoy, torment, pester, plague, molest, worry, badger,
harry, harass, heckle, persecute, irk, bullyrag, vex, disquiet, grate,
beset, bother, tease, nettle, tantalize or ruffle the animals."
San Diego Zoo / Wild Animal Park

To e-mail me, toss the brick.
nightbat
2007-02-13 09:42:51 UTC
Permalink
Packrat® wrote:

Keep auk award voting if you're gay
Post by Packrat®
Post by Art Deco
<music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
http://youtu.be/ra_9kgqn7DQ
</music>
The time has come to announce the winners of the January 2007 Usenet
Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
<music>drumroll</music>
BOBO AWARD
The winner is...RICHARD SCOVILLE!
27 votes YES
01 votes NO
Congratulations, Chicken Dickie! So, how does it feel to be globally
humiliated for your kookery resulting in the loss of your defamatory and
extortionary kookshite? Oh, that's right, you won't read this--you're
completely net-dead!
BARDLEY ANNUAL "WHINING BABY NEW YEAR" AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
15 votes Andrew Chung
09 votes Antonio "Jabriol" Santana
07 votes Tom Bishop
02 votes None of the above
01 votes Richard Scoville
Congratulations, Double-Doctor! You managed to win yet another annual
award to add to your Rookie Kook of the Year, Coward of the Year, and
Kooksite of the Year for 2006. Are you up for a sweep in 11 months?
KOOK OF THE MONTH
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
13 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes Warhol
Always the younger sister left behind.
08 votes Rebecca Ore
02 votes JTEM of alt.paranormal
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, MonkeyBoi! You managed to defeat a perpetual
contender, a long-time suspected kook, and an up-and-comer through your
utter st00pidity. Imagine yourself in the position of Joxer the Mighty
vanquishing this month's fierce competition.
http://youtu.be/fKGyQRGiAKk
CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
16 votes Painius of alt.astronomy
13 votes Andrew B Chung
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Pain in the Ass! You now have your second AUK award
and a chance at the Clueless Newbie of the Year for 2007. May your
cluelessness not interfere with your ability to get it on with a hot
Sea^H^H^H Space Mermaid, should Darla ever bother to land the
mothership.
Let the record also show that he beat one of the most formidable kooks
to come down the pike in quite a while, namely Andy Chung.
COWARD OF THE MONTH
The winner is...JOSEPH BARTLO!
11 votes Joseph Bartlo
09 votes Rebecca Ore
06 votes Steve Chaney
03 votes Painius and Bill Sheppard
You're still profound folks.
02 votes Wabbit of rec.radio.amateur.policy
01 votes Avoid Normal Situations of alt.flame
01 votes Robert "Mop Jockey" Wolfe
00 votes None of the above
Congratulations, JoJo! I have only one thing to say to you--BAWK!
LOONEY MAROON AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
14 votes Andrew Chung
09 votes PorchMonkey4Life
08 votes Ernie Primeau
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations again, Double-Doctor! In what seems to be a race
between you and PorchMonkey4Life for awards this month, you managed to
beat him handily in head-to-head competition. Pity both of your heads
are so empty.
GOLDEN KILLFILE
The winner is...MI5VICTIM!
16 votes MI5Victim
06 votes Mike "miguel" Cranston and Brent Armstrong,
06 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, robotic spammer! Too bad for you that the readers of
100+ groups won't read your conspiratorial screed, as they've dumped you
into the bit bucket.
JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
21 votes PorchMonkey4Life
11 votes nightbat of alt.astronomy
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations again, Porchie! You won impressively against one of the
sillier posters known to AUK by being even more silly, to say nothing of
foul-mouthed and idiotic. Oh, and don't stray too far from the podium;
your name will be called many more times!
Note the Deco hasn't missed a beat this month so far.
BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
21 votes Andrew B. Chung
03 votes Notroll2007
03 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations a third time, Double-Doctor! Tell us (tinu) how you
managed to swallow Pope Snarky's hook six times on your kookshite's lits
o'haet without having a clue that it was the same fisherman each time.
PALMJOB PADDLE
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
19 votes PorchMonkey4Life
05 votes Ernie Primeau
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations a third time, Farky! You managed to be spanked by an
impressive array of kookologists, trolls, and kooks in the same month,
to say nothing of the paddling you gave yourself when you socked up as
your adversaries and had your forgeries flame each other. Why, that
alone would have won you the award!
TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
12 votes PorchMonkey4Life
09 votes Kathy Mosesian
03 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, st00pid Clerks fan! What, you didn't think we (tinw)
wouldn't catch the reference? Tsk, tsk. Anyone who can do a bad
impression of Jay at his most delusionally moronic can certainly
outperform a woman who repeated claims to be leaving USENET forever.
VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
11 votes Paine Ellsworth AKA Painus of alt.astronomy
10 votes Ernie Primeau
06 votes JTEM of alt.paranormal
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations a second time, Mr. Ellsworth! I wonder, in all the time
you were posting to misc.writing and rec.arts.prose, if you ever thought
you'd win an award for writing science /fiction/?
Bravo! "All energy is gravitational" finally gets its proper
recognition.
GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
22 votes Andrew B. Chung
05 votes Ernie Primeau
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations yet again, Double-Doctor! Your crusade to convert the
infidels of alt.atheism and the netcabal demons of AUK seems to have
been recognized--as a waste of time for you!
SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
13 votes PorchMonkey4Life
11 votes Azure
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations yet again, DoucheMonkey! All of your efforts to run up
your BI, along with your self-spankings, forgeries, and attempts to
swear without tripping the obscenity filters damaged you far more than
they ever did your opponents. Be careful not to pat yourself on your
back for this win. With your record, you're likely to dislocate your
own shoulder!
TAR & FEATHERS
The winner is...PAMELA RUSSELL!
13 votes Pamela Russell
11 votes bob&carole
08 votes John-Paul Turcaud
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Fangirlfriend! All of your tireless and clueless
crusading on behalf of the King of Pop has paid off. Now, join Doc and
Marty McFly as they send the train hurtling off the cliff into Clint
Eastwood Gorge!
BUSTED URINAL AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
17 votes PorchMonkey4Life
09 votes The saucerheads of alt.astronomy
06 votes John-Paul Turcaud
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, yet another time, Howler Monkey! You don't need to dig
a latrine when you can throw your feces at everyone you see on USENET?
Don't feel bad y'all, your scat lames just can't hold a nose next to
those of monkeyboi.
UNABOMBER SURPRISE
The winner is...ANTONIO "JABRIOL" SANTANA!
18 votes Jabriol
12 votes Warhol
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Jabbers! Your individual posts may not be all that
long, but taken together, they certainly take up a lot of room without
saying much of anything except WAAAAAA!
Always so close, always just not enough. But there is still hope, you
screeding ways haven't abated in the slightest, fez-head.
GOOFY AZZED BABBOON
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
16 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes John-Paul Turcaud
04 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations again, Farky! When you forged Ying, you picked up all
his bad habits, added some of your own, and spelled it all in 1337!
PH34R your kooky incomprehensibility!
72 RAISINS "CRACKPOT RELIGION" AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
19 votes Andrew B. Chung
11 votes John-Paul Turcaud.
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Double-Doctor! You managed to be the first repeat
winner of the 72 Raisins by beating someone who created his own crackpot
religion. Now, tell us (tinu) again how people who disagree with you
become demons who have lost their free will.
BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
The winner is...ERNIE PRIMEAU!
13 votes Ernie Primeau
12 votes Warhol
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Ernie! It looks like the poster on alt.baldspot who is
getting "crazier and crazier" is you!
Just a single vote here!
ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
16 votes PorchMonkey4Life
07 votes Kathy Mosesian
02 votes None of the above
00 votes Max Varazslo
Congratulations, "Ying Collective!" Not since Brad Jessness was in his
prime has AUK seen such a doll party. Pity that you've used all the
teacups for chamberpots first.
BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
The winner is...PAMELA RUSSELL, TRAINED BY THE HATER CABAL OF AMMJ!
13 votes Pamela Russell,
trained by the Hater Cabal of alt.music.michael-jackson
12 votes PorchMonkey4Life, trained by Pope Snarky
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations to Fangirlfriend and all of her trainers! They managed
to help her win an unprecidented repeat KotY award and a three-peat of
the Bag of Coal and they deserved this recognition. Good work, haters!
EDMOND WOLLMANN MEMORIAL RUBBER TURKEY FOR NEW YEARS 2007
The winner is...ALEXA CAMERON!
12 votes Alexa Cameron
10 votes Brad Guth.
08 votes Ernie Primeau
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Queen of Screed! Your nearly two-week-long meltdown
just happened to climax on New Years Day, but it was enough to earn you
this special holiday award. So, what are you doing this Easter?
Hi, Alexa! [alt.alien.visitors added]
**SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT**
Two kooks have met the standards for a special award given out by
executive decision, THE TINFOIL SOMBRERO! Both have displayed
insubordination above and beyond the usual for USENET kooks and
therefore have earned this special recognition.
The first winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
Farky earned this award by giving out multiple bogus and lame awards to
kook and kookologist alike, including one to yours truly, the FNVW. He
also posted a completely bogus ballot in response to the one true AUK
ballot.
The second winner is...coffeeboys of auk!
The clueless of auk earned this mother award by
repeatedly rejecting our own non-authority of the AUK awards over ourselves
and issuing affirmation of awards that had been silly nominated,
seconded, and accepted by the FNVW. Later denied properly and rescinded.
Congratulations to all of us! May we enjoy our new headwear. which
I have mother made so we will wear them with the shiny side out!
Deco the chief lamer likes to circle the park and call his lamers around.
We (tinw) now resume presentation of the regularly scheduled awards.
PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...Kadaitcha Man's faked death
24 votes YES
07 votes NO
Congratulations, K-man! While a faked death is the sort of troll that
nearly everyone has heard of, it's not one that people see more than
once or twice during their USENET career. You managed to pull of the
troll of your lifetime by pretending your lifetime was over. Cruel, but
extremely effective.
OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
15 votes Andrew B. Chung.
14 votes Antonio "Jabriol" Santana
Congratulations one last time this month, Double-Doctor. You managed to
defend your office against a repeat candidacy by one of the most
determined whiners on USENET. Keep those whines coming!
OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
14 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes Ken Pangborn
08 votes John-Paul Turcaud
Congratulations one last time this month, MonkeyBoi! By setting new
lows for st00pidity from a USENET poaster who isn't a pedophile truck
driver living in a trailer park, you unseated the longtime incumbent, a
moron so dense that he managed to win a vote for Clueless Newbie of the
year two years after he won it the first time. May your reign be as
long as you are imbecilic!
KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
The winner is...AZURE!
15 votes Azure
11 votes Warhol
Good job, Bl00boi! You held off a challenge from someone who claimed
that Saddam would rise from the dead after three days. Now, tell us
(tinu) again that you don't use Supernews as your NSP, even though the
Supernews name is all over your headers.
Bluie's html meltdowns likely turned the tide here.
MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
The winner is...coffeeboys Deco, Cujo, Bookman, Pinku, Packrat®, and Ducky etc.!
16 votes auk clueless coffeeboys and company
11 votes The anti-porn-star crusaders of alt.gossip.celebrities
Congratulations, Profound clueless ourselves! Whilst we all wait
for the Seans to arrive so we can drool as the Profound Science Team shag the hottest mermaids in space,
we'll keep ourselves good and hard in preparation for their arrival and your lucky Starship departure.
They will.
This concludes the announcement of the winners of the January 2007
Usenet Kook Awards. Forty-four people submitted fourty-one ballots.
Five of them managed to violate the rules in interesting ways: two
people voted from an altered ballot, one person voted for
himself/herself, another voted for himself/herself using an altered
ballot (there's always a first for everything) and one voted in the
wrong thread. Fluffy was pleased with the shredded paper in his litter
box. Consequently, thirty-nine ballots were deemed valid and counted.
See you all early next month, when the buzzards fly north of the Ohio
River and the crocuses begin to bloom. Until then, enjoy and all hail
Ming, Bob, and Fluffy!
And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
MonkeyBoi in the role of Joxer the Mighty. Watch Xena and Gabrielle pwn
him!
<music>"A Man for All Seasons"
http://youtu.be/et2G44-7C7U
</music>
Meow.
Bartlo and Alexa, Alexa and Bartlo.
Who said there are no constants in the universe?
(Hmmm... I think both of them have said that)
Coffeeboys - denying reality since day one -- nightbat
"Doctor, what do we do with these clueless auk orphans?"
"Put them with the rest of the born losers"
Bookman
2007-02-13 21:49:12 UTC
Permalink
Post by nightbat
Keep auk award voting if you're gay
Post by Packrat®
Post by Art Deco
<music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
http://youtu.be/ra_9kgqn7DQ
</music>
The time has come to announce the winners of the January 2007 Usenet
Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
<music>drumroll</music>
BOBO AWARD
The winner is...RICHARD SCOVILLE!
27 votes YES
01 votes NO
Congratulations, Chicken Dickie! So, how does it feel to be globally
humiliated for your kookery resulting in the loss of your defamatory and
extortionary kookshite? Oh, that's right, you won't read this--you're
completely net-dead!
BARDLEY ANNUAL "WHINING BABY NEW YEAR" AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
15 votes Andrew Chung
09 votes Antonio "Jabriol" Santana
07 votes Tom Bishop
02 votes None of the above
01 votes Richard Scoville
Congratulations, Double-Doctor! You managed to win yet another annual
award to add to your Rookie Kook of the Year, Coward of the Year, and
Kooksite of the Year for 2006. Are you up for a sweep in 11 months?
KOOK OF THE MONTH
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
13 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes Warhol
Always the younger sister left behind.
08 votes Rebecca Ore
02 votes JTEM of alt.paranormal
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, MonkeyBoi! You managed to defeat a perpetual
contender, a long-time suspected kook, and an up-and-comer through your
utter st00pidity. Imagine yourself in the position of Joxer the Mighty
vanquishing this month's fierce competition.
http://youtu.be/fKGyQRGiAKk
CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
16 votes Painius of alt.astronomy
13 votes Andrew B Chung
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Pain in the Ass! You now have your second AUK award
and a chance at the Clueless Newbie of the Year for 2007. May your
cluelessness not interfere with your ability to get it on with a hot
Sea^H^H^H Space Mermaid, should Darla ever bother to land the
mothership.
Let the record also show that he beat one of the most formidable kooks
to come down the pike in quite a while, namely Andy Chung.
COWARD OF THE MONTH
The winner is...JOSEPH BARTLO!
11 votes Joseph Bartlo
09 votes Rebecca Ore
06 votes Steve Chaney
03 votes Painius and Bill Sheppard
You're still profound folks.
02 votes Wabbit of rec.radio.amateur.policy
01 votes Avoid Normal Situations of alt.flame
01 votes Robert "Mop Jockey" Wolfe
00 votes None of the above
Congratulations, JoJo! I have only one thing to say to you--BAWK!
LOONEY MAROON AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
14 votes Andrew Chung
09 votes PorchMonkey4Life
08 votes Ernie Primeau
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations again, Double-Doctor! In what seems to be a race
between you and PorchMonkey4Life for awards this month, you managed to
beat him handily in head-to-head competition. Pity both of your heads
are so empty.
GOLDEN KILLFILE
The winner is...MI5VICTIM!
16 votes MI5Victim
06 votes Mike "miguel" Cranston and Brent Armstrong,
06 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, robotic spammer! Too bad for you that the readers of
100+ groups won't read your conspiratorial screed, as they've dumped you
into the bit bucket.
JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
21 votes PorchMonkey4Life
11 votes nightbat of alt.astronomy
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations again, Porchie! You won impressively against one of the
sillier posters known to AUK by being even more silly, to say nothing of
foul-mouthed and idiotic. Oh, and don't stray too far from the podium;
your name will be called many more times!
Note the Deco hasn't missed a beat this month so far.
BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
21 votes Andrew B. Chung
03 votes Notroll2007
03 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations a third time, Double-Doctor! Tell us (tinu) how you
managed to swallow Pope Snarky's hook six times on your kookshite's lits
o'haet without having a clue that it was the same fisherman each time.
PALMJOB PADDLE
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
19 votes PorchMonkey4Life
05 votes Ernie Primeau
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations a third time, Farky! You managed to be spanked by an
impressive array of kookologists, trolls, and kooks in the same month,
to say nothing of the paddling you gave yourself when you socked up as
your adversaries and had your forgeries flame each other. Why, that
alone would have won you the award!
TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
12 votes PorchMonkey4Life
09 votes Kathy Mosesian
03 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, st00pid Clerks fan! What, you didn't think we (tinw)
wouldn't catch the reference? Tsk, tsk. Anyone who can do a bad
impression of Jay at his most delusionally moronic can certainly
outperform a woman who repeated claims to be leaving USENET forever.
VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
11 votes Paine Ellsworth AKA Painus of alt.astronomy
10 votes Ernie Primeau
06 votes JTEM of alt.paranormal
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations a second time, Mr. Ellsworth! I wonder, in all the time
you were posting to misc.writing and rec.arts.prose, if you ever thought
you'd win an award for writing science /fiction/?
Bravo! "All energy is gravitational" finally gets its proper
recognition.
GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
22 votes Andrew B. Chung
05 votes Ernie Primeau
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations yet again, Double-Doctor! Your crusade to convert the
infidels of alt.atheism and the netcabal demons of AUK seems to have
been recognized--as a waste of time for you!
SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
13 votes PorchMonkey4Life
11 votes Azure
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations yet again, DoucheMonkey! All of your efforts to run up
your BI, along with your self-spankings, forgeries, and attempts to
swear without tripping the obscenity filters damaged you far more than
they ever did your opponents. Be careful not to pat yourself on your
back for this win. With your record, you're likely to dislocate your
own shoulder!
TAR & FEATHERS
The winner is...PAMELA RUSSELL!
13 votes Pamela Russell
11 votes bob&carole
08 votes John-Paul Turcaud
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Fangirlfriend! All of your tireless and clueless
crusading on behalf of the King of Pop has paid off. Now, join Doc and
Marty McFly as they send the train hurtling off the cliff into Clint
Eastwood Gorge!
BUSTED URINAL AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
17 votes PorchMonkey4Life
09 votes The saucerheads of alt.astronomy
06 votes John-Paul Turcaud
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, yet another time, Howler Monkey! You don't need to dig
a latrine when you can throw your feces at everyone you see on USENET?
Don't feel bad y'all, your scat lames just can't hold a nose next to
those of monkeyboi.
UNABOMBER SURPRISE
The winner is...ANTONIO "JABRIOL" SANTANA!
18 votes Jabriol
12 votes Warhol
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Jabbers! Your individual posts may not be all that
long, but taken together, they certainly take up a lot of room without
saying much of anything except WAAAAAA!
Always so close, always just not enough. But there is still hope, you
screeding ways haven't abated in the slightest, fez-head.
GOOFY AZZED BABBOON
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
16 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes John-Paul Turcaud
04 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations again, Farky! When you forged Ying, you picked up all
his bad habits, added some of your own, and spelled it all in 1337!
PH34R your kooky incomprehensibility!
72 RAISINS "CRACKPOT RELIGION" AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
19 votes Andrew B. Chung
11 votes John-Paul Turcaud.
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Double-Doctor! You managed to be the first repeat
winner of the 72 Raisins by beating someone who created his own crackpot
religion. Now, tell us (tinu) again how people who disagree with you
become demons who have lost their free will.
BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
The winner is...ERNIE PRIMEAU!
13 votes Ernie Primeau
12 votes Warhol
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Ernie! It looks like the poster on alt.baldspot who is
getting "crazier and crazier" is you!
Just a single vote here!
ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
16 votes PorchMonkey4Life
07 votes Kathy Mosesian
02 votes None of the above
00 votes Max Varazslo
Congratulations, "Ying Collective!" Not since Brad Jessness was in his
prime has AUK seen such a doll party. Pity that you've used all the
teacups for chamberpots first.
BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
The winner is...PAMELA RUSSELL, TRAINED BY THE HATER CABAL OF AMMJ!
13 votes Pamela Russell,
trained by the Hater Cabal of alt.music.michael-jackson
12 votes PorchMonkey4Life, trained by Pope Snarky
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations to Fangirlfriend and all of her trainers! They managed
to help her win an unprecidented repeat KotY award and a three-peat of
the Bag of Coal and they deserved this recognition. Good work, haters!
EDMOND WOLLMANN MEMORIAL RUBBER TURKEY FOR NEW YEARS 2007
The winner is...ALEXA CAMERON!
12 votes Alexa Cameron
10 votes Brad Guth.
08 votes Ernie Primeau
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Queen of Screed! Your nearly two-week-long meltdown
just happened to climax on New Years Day, but it was enough to earn you
this special holiday award. So, what are you doing this Easter?
Hi, Alexa! [alt.alien.visitors added]
**SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT**
Two kooks have met the standards for a special award given out by
executive decision, THE TINFOIL SOMBRERO! Both have displayed
insubordination above and beyond the usual for USENET kooks and
therefore have earned this special recognition.
The first winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
Farky earned this award by giving out multiple bogus and lame awards to
kook and kookologist alike, including one to yours truly, the FNVW. He
also posted a completely bogus ballot in response to the one true AUK
ballot.
The second winner is...coffeeboys of auk!
The clueless of auk earned this mother award by
repeatedly rejecting our own non-authority of the AUK awards over ourselves
and issuing affirmation of awards that had been silly nominated,
seconded, and accepted by the FNVW. Later denied properly and rescinded.
Congratulations to all of us! May we enjoy our new headwear. which
I have mother made so we will wear them with the shiny side out!
Deco the chief lamer likes to circle the park and call his lamers around.
We (tinw) now resume presentation of the regularly scheduled awards.
PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...Kadaitcha Man's faked death
24 votes YES
07 votes NO
Congratulations, K-man! While a faked death is the sort of troll that
nearly everyone has heard of, it's not one that people see more than
once or twice during their USENET career. You managed to pull of the
troll of your lifetime by pretending your lifetime was over. Cruel, but
extremely effective.
OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
15 votes Andrew B. Chung.
14 votes Antonio "Jabriol" Santana
Congratulations one last time this month, Double-Doctor. You managed to
defend your office against a repeat candidacy by one of the most
determined whiners on USENET. Keep those whines coming!
OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
14 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes Ken Pangborn
08 votes John-Paul Turcaud
Congratulations one last time this month, MonkeyBoi! By setting new
lows for st00pidity from a USENET poaster who isn't a pedophile truck
driver living in a trailer park, you unseated the longtime incumbent, a
moron so dense that he managed to win a vote for Clueless Newbie of the
year two years after he won it the first time. May your reign be as
long as you are imbecilic!
KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
The winner is...AZURE!
15 votes Azure
11 votes Warhol
Good job, Bl00boi! You held off a challenge from someone who claimed
that Saddam would rise from the dead after three days. Now, tell us
(tinu) again that you don't use Supernews as your NSP, even though the
Supernews name is all over your headers.
Bluie's html meltdowns likely turned the tide here.
MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
The winner is...coffeeboys Deco, Cujo, Bookman, Pinku, Packrat®, and Ducky etc.!
16 votes auk clueless coffeeboys and company
11 votes The anti-porn-star crusaders of alt.gossip.celebrities
Congratulations, Profound clueless ourselves! Whilst we all wait
for the Seans to arrive so we can drool as the Profound Science Team shag the hottest mermaids in space,
we'll keep ourselves good and hard in preparation for their arrival and your lucky Starship departure.
They will.
This concludes the announcement of the winners of the January 2007
Usenet Kook Awards. Forty-four people submitted fourty-one ballots.
Five of them managed to violate the rules in interesting ways: two
people voted from an altered ballot, one person voted for
himself/herself, another voted for himself/herself using an altered
ballot (there's always a first for everything) and one voted in the
wrong thread. Fluffy was pleased with the shredded paper in his litter
box. Consequently, thirty-nine ballots were deemed valid and counted.
See you all early next month, when the buzzards fly north of the Ohio
River and the crocuses begin to bloom. Until then, enjoy and all hail
Ming, Bob, and Fluffy!
And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
MonkeyBoi in the role of Joxer the Mighty. Watch Xena and Gabrielle pwn
him!
<music>"A Man for All Seasons"
http://youtu.be/et2G44-7C7U
</music>
Meow.
Bartlo and Alexa, Alexa and Bartlo.
Who said there are no constants in the universe?
(Hmmm... I think both of them have said that)
Coffeeboys - denying reality since day one -- nightbat
"Doctor, what do we do with these clueless auk orphans?"
"Put them with the rest of the born losers"
Art Deco
2007-02-15 03:33:21 UTC
Permalink
Post by nightbat
Keep auk award voting if you're gay
Still trying to run away from alt.astronomy, top-posting spammer?
Post by nightbat
Post by Packrat®
Post by Art Deco
<music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
http://youtu.be/ra_9kgqn7DQ
</music>
The time has come to announce the winners of the January 2007 Usenet
Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
<music>drumroll</music>
BOBO AWARD
The winner is...RICHARD SCOVILLE!
27 votes YES
01 votes NO
Congratulations, Chicken Dickie! So, how does it feel to be globally
humiliated for your kookery resulting in the loss of your defamatory and
extortionary kookshite? Oh, that's right, you won't read this--you're
completely net-dead!
BARDLEY ANNUAL "WHINING BABY NEW YEAR" AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
15 votes Andrew Chung
09 votes Antonio "Jabriol" Santana
07 votes Tom Bishop
02 votes None of the above
01 votes Richard Scoville
Congratulations, Double-Doctor! You managed to win yet another annual
award to add to your Rookie Kook of the Year, Coward of the Year, and
Kooksite of the Year for 2006. Are you up for a sweep in 11 months?
KOOK OF THE MONTH
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
13 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes Warhol
Always the younger sister left behind.
08 votes Rebecca Ore
02 votes JTEM of alt.paranormal
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, MonkeyBoi! You managed to defeat a perpetual
contender, a long-time suspected kook, and an up-and-comer through your
utter st00pidity. Imagine yourself in the position of Joxer the Mighty
vanquishing this month's fierce competition.
http://youtu.be/fKGyQRGiAKk
CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
16 votes Painius of alt.astronomy
13 votes Andrew B Chung
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Pain in the Ass! You now have your second AUK award
and a chance at the Clueless Newbie of the Year for 2007. May your
cluelessness not interfere with your ability to get it on with a hot
Sea^H^H^H Space Mermaid, should Darla ever bother to land the
mothership.
Let the record also show that he beat one of the most formidable kooks
to come down the pike in quite a while, namely Andy Chung.
COWARD OF THE MONTH
The winner is...JOSEPH BARTLO!
11 votes Joseph Bartlo
09 votes Rebecca Ore
06 votes Steve Chaney
03 votes Painius and Bill Sheppard
You're still profound folks.
02 votes Wabbit of rec.radio.amateur.policy
01 votes Avoid Normal Situations of alt.flame
01 votes Robert "Mop Jockey" Wolfe
00 votes None of the above
Congratulations, JoJo! I have only one thing to say to you--BAWK!
LOONEY MAROON AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
14 votes Andrew Chung
09 votes PorchMonkey4Life
08 votes Ernie Primeau
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations again, Double-Doctor! In what seems to be a race
between you and PorchMonkey4Life for awards this month, you managed to
beat him handily in head-to-head competition. Pity both of your heads
are so empty.
GOLDEN KILLFILE
The winner is...MI5VICTIM!
16 votes MI5Victim
06 votes Mike "miguel" Cranston and Brent Armstrong,
06 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, robotic spammer! Too bad for you that the readers of
100+ groups won't read your conspiratorial screed, as they've dumped you
into the bit bucket.
JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
21 votes PorchMonkey4Life
11 votes nightbat of alt.astronomy
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations again, Porchie! You won impressively against one of the
sillier posters known to AUK by being even more silly, to say nothing of
foul-mouthed and idiotic. Oh, and don't stray too far from the podium;
your name will be called many more times!
Note the Deco hasn't missed a beat this month so far.
BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
21 votes Andrew B. Chung
03 votes Notroll2007
03 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations a third time, Double-Doctor! Tell us (tinu) how you
managed to swallow Pope Snarky's hook six times on your kookshite's lits
o'haet without having a clue that it was the same fisherman each time.
PALMJOB PADDLE
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
19 votes PorchMonkey4Life
05 votes Ernie Primeau
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations a third time, Farky! You managed to be spanked by an
impressive array of kookologists, trolls, and kooks in the same month,
to say nothing of the paddling you gave yourself when you socked up as
your adversaries and had your forgeries flame each other. Why, that
alone would have won you the award!
TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
12 votes PorchMonkey4Life
09 votes Kathy Mosesian
03 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, st00pid Clerks fan! What, you didn't think we (tinw)
wouldn't catch the reference? Tsk, tsk. Anyone who can do a bad
impression of Jay at his most delusionally moronic can certainly
outperform a woman who repeated claims to be leaving USENET forever.
VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
11 votes Paine Ellsworth AKA Painus of alt.astronomy
10 votes Ernie Primeau
06 votes JTEM of alt.paranormal
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations a second time, Mr. Ellsworth! I wonder, in all the time
you were posting to misc.writing and rec.arts.prose, if you ever thought
you'd win an award for writing science /fiction/?
Bravo! "All energy is gravitational" finally gets its proper
recognition.
GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
22 votes Andrew B. Chung
05 votes Ernie Primeau
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations yet again, Double-Doctor! Your crusade to convert the
infidels of alt.atheism and the netcabal demons of AUK seems to have
been recognized--as a waste of time for you!
SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
13 votes PorchMonkey4Life
11 votes Azure
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations yet again, DoucheMonkey! All of your efforts to run up
your BI, along with your self-spankings, forgeries, and attempts to
swear without tripping the obscenity filters damaged you far more than
they ever did your opponents. Be careful not to pat yourself on your
back for this win. With your record, you're likely to dislocate your
own shoulder!
TAR & FEATHERS
The winner is...PAMELA RUSSELL!
13 votes Pamela Russell
11 votes bob&carole
08 votes John-Paul Turcaud
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Fangirlfriend! All of your tireless and clueless
crusading on behalf of the King of Pop has paid off. Now, join Doc and
Marty McFly as they send the train hurtling off the cliff into Clint
Eastwood Gorge!
BUSTED URINAL AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
17 votes PorchMonkey4Life
09 votes The saucerheads of alt.astronomy
06 votes John-Paul Turcaud
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, yet another time, Howler Monkey! You don't need to dig
a latrine when you can throw your feces at everyone you see on USENET?
Don't feel bad y'all, your scat lames just can't hold a nose next to
those of monkeyboi.
UNABOMBER SURPRISE
The winner is...ANTONIO "JABRIOL" SANTANA!
18 votes Jabriol
12 votes Warhol
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Jabbers! Your individual posts may not be all that
long, but taken together, they certainly take up a lot of room without
saying much of anything except WAAAAAA!
Always so close, always just not enough. But there is still hope, you
screeding ways haven't abated in the slightest, fez-head.
GOOFY AZZED BABBOON
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
16 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes John-Paul Turcaud
04 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations again, Farky! When you forged Ying, you picked up all
his bad habits, added some of your own, and spelled it all in 1337!
PH34R your kooky incomprehensibility!
72 RAISINS "CRACKPOT RELIGION" AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
19 votes Andrew B. Chung
11 votes John-Paul Turcaud.
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Double-Doctor! You managed to be the first repeat
winner of the 72 Raisins by beating someone who created his own crackpot
religion. Now, tell us (tinu) again how people who disagree with you
become demons who have lost their free will.
BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
The winner is...ERNIE PRIMEAU!
13 votes Ernie Primeau
12 votes Warhol
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Ernie! It looks like the poster on alt.baldspot who is
getting "crazier and crazier" is you!
Just a single vote here!
ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
16 votes PorchMonkey4Life
07 votes Kathy Mosesian
02 votes None of the above
00 votes Max Varazslo
Congratulations, "Ying Collective!" Not since Brad Jessness was in his
prime has AUK seen such a doll party. Pity that you've used all the
teacups for chamberpots first.
BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
The winner is...PAMELA RUSSELL, TRAINED BY THE HATER CABAL OF AMMJ!
13 votes Pamela Russell,
trained by the Hater Cabal of alt.music.michael-jackson
12 votes PorchMonkey4Life, trained by Pope Snarky
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations to Fangirlfriend and all of her trainers! They managed
to help her win an unprecidented repeat KotY award and a three-peat of
the Bag of Coal and they deserved this recognition. Good work, haters!
EDMOND WOLLMANN MEMORIAL RUBBER TURKEY FOR NEW YEARS 2007
The winner is...ALEXA CAMERON!
12 votes Alexa Cameron
10 votes Brad Guth.
08 votes Ernie Primeau
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Queen of Screed! Your nearly two-week-long meltdown
just happened to climax on New Years Day, but it was enough to earn you
this special holiday award. So, what are you doing this Easter?
Hi, Alexa! [alt.alien.visitors added]
**SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT**
Two kooks have met the standards for a special award given out by
executive decision, THE TINFOIL SOMBRERO! Both have displayed
insubordination above and beyond the usual for USENET kooks and
therefore have earned this special recognition.
The first winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
Farky earned this award by giving out multiple bogus and lame awards to
kook and kookologist alike, including one to yours truly, the FNVW. He
also posted a completely bogus ballot in response to the one true AUK
ballot.
The second winner is...coffeeboys of auk!
The clueless of auk earned this mother award by
repeatedly rejecting our own non-authority of the AUK awards over ourselves
and issuing affirmation of awards that had been silly nominated,
seconded, and accepted by the FNVW. Later denied properly and rescinded.
Congratulations to all of us! May we enjoy our new headwear. which
I have mother made so we will wear them with the shiny side out!
Deco the chief lamer likes to circle the park and call his lamers around.
We (tinw) now resume presentation of the regularly scheduled awards.
PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...Kadaitcha Man's faked death
24 votes YES
07 votes NO
Congratulations, K-man! While a faked death is the sort of troll that
nearly everyone has heard of, it's not one that people see more than
once or twice during their USENET career. You managed to pull of the
troll of your lifetime by pretending your lifetime was over. Cruel, but
extremely effective.
OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
15 votes Andrew B. Chung.
14 votes Antonio "Jabriol" Santana
Congratulations one last time this month, Double-Doctor. You managed to
defend your office against a repeat candidacy by one of the most
determined whiners on USENET. Keep those whines coming!
OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
14 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes Ken Pangborn
08 votes John-Paul Turcaud
Congratulations one last time this month, MonkeyBoi! By setting new
lows for st00pidity from a USENET poaster who isn't a pedophile truck
driver living in a trailer park, you unseated the longtime incumbent, a
moron so dense that he managed to win a vote for Clueless Newbie of the
year two years after he won it the first time. May your reign be as
long as you are imbecilic!
KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
The winner is...AZURE!
15 votes Azure
11 votes Warhol
Good job, Bl00boi! You held off a challenge from someone who claimed
that Saddam would rise from the dead after three days. Now, tell us
(tinu) again that you don't use Supernews as your NSP, even though the
Supernews name is all over your headers.
Bluie's html meltdowns likely turned the tide here.
MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
The winner is...coffeeboys Deco, Cujo, Bookman, Pinku, Packrat®, and Ducky etc.!
16 votes auk clueless coffeeboys and company
11 votes The anti-porn-star crusaders of alt.gossip.celebrities
Congratulations, Profound clueless ourselves! Whilst we all wait
for the Seans to arrive so we can drool as the Profound Science Team shag
the hottest mermaids in space,
we'll keep ourselves good and hard in preparation for their arrival and
your lucky Starship departure.
They will.
This concludes the announcement of the winners of the January 2007
Usenet Kook Awards. Forty-four people submitted fourty-one ballots.
Five of them managed to violate the rules in interesting ways: two
people voted from an altered ballot, one person voted for
himself/herself, another voted for himself/herself using an altered
ballot (there's always a first for everything) and one voted in the
wrong thread. Fluffy was pleased with the shredded paper in his litter
box. Consequently, thirty-nine ballots were deemed valid and counted.
See you all early next month, when the buzzards fly north of the Ohio
River and the crocuses begin to bloom. Until then, enjoy and all hail
Ming, Bob, and Fluffy!
And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
MonkeyBoi in the role of Joxer the Mighty. Watch Xena and Gabrielle pwn
him!
<music>"A Man for All Seasons"
http://youtu.be/et2G44-7C7U
</music>
Meow.
Bartlo and Alexa, Alexa and Bartlo.
Who said there are no constants in the universe?
(Hmmm... I think both of them have said that)
Coffeeboys - denying reality since day one -- nightbat
"Doctor, what do we do with these clueless auk orphans?"
"Put them with the rest of the born losers"
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Henry Schmidt
2007-02-15 03:52:25 UTC
Permalink
Post by Art Deco
Post by nightbat
Keep auk award voting if you're gay
Still trying to run away from alt.astronomy, top-posting spammer?
At least he's not an as$clown like DevMcKinHole and his ilk.
Post by Art Deco
Post by nightbat
Post by Packrat®
Post by Art Deco
<music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
http://youtu.be/ra_9kgqn7DQ
</music>
The time has come to announce the winners of the January 2007 Usenet
Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
<music>drumroll</music>
BOBO AWARD
The winner is...RICHARD SCOVILLE!
27 votes YES
01 votes NO
Congratulations, Chicken Dickie! So, how does it feel to be globally
humiliated for your kookery resulting in the loss of your defamatory and
extortionary kookshite? Oh, that's right, you won't read this--you're
completely net-dead!
BARDLEY ANNUAL "WHINING BABY NEW YEAR" AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
15 votes Andrew Chung
09 votes Antonio "Jabriol" Santana
07 votes Tom Bishop
02 votes None of the above
01 votes Richard Scoville
Congratulations, Double-Doctor! You managed to win yet another annual
award to add to your Rookie Kook of the Year, Coward of the Year, and
Kooksite of the Year for 2006. Are you up for a sweep in 11 months?
KOOK OF THE MONTH
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
13 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes Warhol
Always the younger sister left behind.
08 votes Rebecca Ore
02 votes JTEM of alt.paranormal
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, MonkeyBoi! You managed to defeat a perpetual
contender, a long-time suspected kook, and an up-and-comer through your
utter st00pidity. Imagine yourself in the position of Joxer the Mighty
vanquishing this month's fierce competition.
http://youtu.be/fKGyQRGiAKk
CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
16 votes Painius of alt.astronomy
13 votes Andrew B Chung
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Pain in the Ass! You now have your second AUK award
and a chance at the Clueless Newbie of the Year for 2007. May your
cluelessness not interfere with your ability to get it on with a hot
Sea^H^H^H Space Mermaid, should Darla ever bother to land the
mothership.
Let the record also show that he beat one of the most formidable kooks
to come down the pike in quite a while, namely Andy Chung.
COWARD OF THE MONTH
The winner is...JOSEPH BARTLO!
11 votes Joseph Bartlo
09 votes Rebecca Ore
06 votes Steve Chaney
03 votes Painius and Bill Sheppard
You're still profound folks.
02 votes Wabbit of rec.radio.amateur.policy
01 votes Avoid Normal Situations of alt.flame
01 votes Robert "Mop Jockey" Wolfe
00 votes None of the above
Congratulations, JoJo! I have only one thing to say to you--BAWK!
LOONEY MAROON AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
14 votes Andrew Chung
09 votes PorchMonkey4Life
08 votes Ernie Primeau
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations again, Double-Doctor! In what seems to be a race
between you and PorchMonkey4Life for awards this month, you managed to
beat him handily in head-to-head competition. Pity both of your heads
are so empty.
GOLDEN KILLFILE
The winner is...MI5VICTIM!
16 votes MI5Victim
06 votes Mike "miguel" Cranston and Brent Armstrong,
06 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, robotic spammer! Too bad for you that the readers of
100+ groups won't read your conspiratorial screed, as they've dumped you
into the bit bucket.
JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
21 votes PorchMonkey4Life
11 votes nightbat of alt.astronomy
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations again, Porchie! You won impressively against one of the
sillier posters known to AUK by being even more silly, to say nothing of
foul-mouthed and idiotic. Oh, and don't stray too far from the podium;
your name will be called many more times!
Note the Deco hasn't missed a beat this month so far.
BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
21 votes Andrew B. Chung
03 votes Notroll2007
03 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations a third time, Double-Doctor! Tell us (tinu) how you
managed to swallow Pope Snarky's hook six times on your kookshite's lits
o'haet without having a clue that it was the same fisherman each time.
PALMJOB PADDLE
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
19 votes PorchMonkey4Life
05 votes Ernie Primeau
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations a third time, Farky! You managed to be spanked by an
impressive array of kookologists, trolls, and kooks in the same month,
to say nothing of the paddling you gave yourself when you socked up as
your adversaries and had your forgeries flame each other. Why, that
alone would have won you the award!
TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
12 votes PorchMonkey4Life
09 votes Kathy Mosesian
03 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, st00pid Clerks fan! What, you didn't think we (tinw)
wouldn't catch the reference? Tsk, tsk. Anyone who can do a bad
impression of Jay at his most delusionally moronic can certainly
outperform a woman who repeated claims to be leaving USENET forever.
VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
11 votes Paine Ellsworth AKA Painus of alt.astronomy
10 votes Ernie Primeau
06 votes JTEM of alt.paranormal
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations a second time, Mr. Ellsworth! I wonder, in all the time
you were posting to misc.writing and rec.arts.prose, if you ever thought
you'd win an award for writing science /fiction/?
Bravo! "All energy is gravitational" finally gets its proper
recognition.
GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
22 votes Andrew B. Chung
05 votes Ernie Primeau
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations yet again, Double-Doctor! Your crusade to convert the
infidels of alt.atheism and the netcabal demons of AUK seems to have
been recognized--as a waste of time for you!
SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
13 votes PorchMonkey4Life
11 votes Azure
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations yet again, DoucheMonkey! All of your efforts to run up
your BI, along with your self-spankings, forgeries, and attempts to
swear without tripping the obscenity filters damaged you far more than
they ever did your opponents. Be careful not to pat yourself on your
back for this win. With your record, you're likely to dislocate your
own shoulder!
TAR & FEATHERS
The winner is...PAMELA RUSSELL!
13 votes Pamela Russell
11 votes bob&carole
08 votes John-Paul Turcaud
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Fangirlfriend! All of your tireless and clueless
crusading on behalf of the King of Pop has paid off. Now, join Doc and
Marty McFly as they send the train hurtling off the cliff into Clint
Eastwood Gorge!
BUSTED URINAL AWARD
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
17 votes PorchMonkey4Life
09 votes The saucerheads of alt.astronomy
06 votes John-Paul Turcaud
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, yet another time, Howler Monkey! You don't need to dig
a latrine when you can throw your feces at everyone you see on USENET?
Don't feel bad y'all, your scat lames just can't hold a nose next to
those of monkeyboi.
UNABOMBER SURPRISE
The winner is...ANTONIO "JABRIOL" SANTANA!
18 votes Jabriol
12 votes Warhol
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Jabbers! Your individual posts may not be all that
long, but taken together, they certainly take up a lot of room without
saying much of anything except WAAAAAA!
Always so close, always just not enough. But there is still hope, you
screeding ways haven't abated in the slightest, fez-head.
GOOFY AZZED BABBOON
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
16 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes John-Paul Turcaud
04 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations again, Farky! When you forged Ying, you picked up all
his bad habits, added some of your own, and spelled it all in 1337!
PH34R your kooky incomprehensibility!
72 RAISINS "CRACKPOT RELIGION" AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
19 votes Andrew B. Chung
11 votes John-Paul Turcaud.
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Double-Doctor! You managed to be the first repeat
winner of the 72 Raisins by beating someone who created his own crackpot
religion. Now, tell us (tinu) again how people who disagree with you
become demons who have lost their free will.
BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
The winner is...ERNIE PRIMEAU!
13 votes Ernie Primeau
12 votes Warhol
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Ernie! It looks like the poster on alt.baldspot who is
getting "crazier and crazier" is you!
Just a single vote here!
ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
16 votes PorchMonkey4Life
07 votes Kathy Mosesian
02 votes None of the above
00 votes Max Varazslo
Congratulations, "Ying Collective!" Not since Brad Jessness was in his
prime has AUK seen such a doll party. Pity that you've used all the
teacups for chamberpots first.
BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
The winner is...PAMELA RUSSELL, TRAINED BY THE HATER CABAL OF AMMJ!
13 votes Pamela Russell,
trained by the Hater Cabal of alt.music.michael-jackson
12 votes PorchMonkey4Life, trained by Pope Snarky
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations to Fangirlfriend and all of her trainers! They managed
to help her win an unprecidented repeat KotY award and a three-peat of
the Bag of Coal and they deserved this recognition. Good work, haters!
EDMOND WOLLMANN MEMORIAL RUBBER TURKEY FOR NEW YEARS 2007
The winner is...ALEXA CAMERON!
12 votes Alexa Cameron
10 votes Brad Guth.
08 votes Ernie Primeau
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Queen of Screed! Your nearly two-week-long meltdown
just happened to climax on New Years Day, but it was enough to earn you
this special holiday award. So, what are you doing this Easter?
Hi, Alexa! [alt.alien.visitors added]
**SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT**
Two kooks have met the standards for a special award given out by
executive decision, THE TINFOIL SOMBRERO! Both have displayed
insubordination above and beyond the usual for USENET kooks and
therefore have earned this special recognition.
The first winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
Farky earned this award by giving out multiple bogus and lame awards to
kook and kookologist alike, including one to yours truly, the FNVW. He
also posted a completely bogus ballot in response to the one true AUK
ballot.
The second winner is...coffeeboys of auk!
The clueless of auk earned this mother award by
repeatedly rejecting our own non-authority of the AUK awards over ourselves
and issuing affirmation of awards that had been silly nominated,
seconded, and accepted by the FNVW. Later denied properly and rescinded.
Congratulations to all of us! May we enjoy our new headwear. which
I have mother made so we will wear them with the shiny side out!
Deco the chief lamer likes to circle the park and call his lamers around.
We (tinw) now resume presentation of the regularly scheduled awards.
PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...Kadaitcha Man's faked death
24 votes YES
07 votes NO
Congratulations, K-man! While a faked death is the sort of troll that
nearly everyone has heard of, it's not one that people see more than
once or twice during their USENET career. You managed to pull of the
troll of your lifetime by pretending your lifetime was over. Cruel, but
extremely effective.
OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
15 votes Andrew B. Chung.
14 votes Antonio "Jabriol" Santana
Congratulations one last time this month, Double-Doctor. You managed to
defend your office against a repeat candidacy by one of the most
determined whiners on USENET. Keep those whines coming!
OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
14 votes PorchMonkey4Life
10 votes Ken Pangborn
08 votes John-Paul Turcaud
Congratulations one last time this month, MonkeyBoi! By setting new
lows for st00pidity from a USENET poaster who isn't a pedophile truck
driver living in a trailer park, you unseated the longtime incumbent, a
moron so dense that he managed to win a vote for Clueless Newbie of the
year two years after he won it the first time. May your reign be as
long as you are imbecilic!
KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
The winner is...AZURE!
15 votes Azure
11 votes Warhol
Good job, Bl00boi! You held off a challenge from someone who claimed
that Saddam would rise from the dead after three days. Now, tell us
(tinu) again that you don't use Supernews as your NSP, even though the
Supernews name is all over your headers.
Bluie's html meltdowns likely turned the tide here.
MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
The winner is...coffeeboys Deco, Cujo, Bookman, Pinku, Packrat®, and Ducky etc.!
16 votes auk clueless coffeeboys and company
11 votes The anti-porn-star crusaders of alt.gossip.celebrities
Congratulations, Profound clueless ourselves! Whilst we all wait
for the Seans to arrive so we can drool as the Profound Science Team shag
the hottest mermaids in space,
we'll keep ourselves good and hard in preparation for their arrival and
your lucky Starship departure.
They will.
This concludes the announcement of the winners of the January 2007
Usenet Kook Awards. Forty-four people submitted fourty-one ballots.
Five of them managed to violate the rules in interesting ways: two
people voted from an altered ballot, one person voted for
himself/herself, another voted for himself/herself using an altered
ballot (there's always a first for everything) and one voted in the
wrong thread. Fluffy was pleased with the shredded paper in his litter
box. Consequently, thirty-nine ballots were deemed valid and counted.
See you all early next month, when the buzzards fly north of the Ohio
River and the crocuses begin to bloom. Until then, enjoy and all hail
Ming, Bob, and Fluffy!
And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
MonkeyBoi in the role of Joxer the Mighty. Watch Xena and Gabrielle pwn
him!
<music>"A Man for All Seasons"
http://youtu.be/et2G44-7C7U
</music>
Meow.
Bartlo and Alexa, Alexa and Bartlo.
Who said there are no constants in the universe?
(Hmmm... I think both of them have said that)
Coffeeboys - denying reality since day one -- nightbat
"Doctor, what do we do with these clueless auk orphans?"
"Put them with the rest of the born losers"
Art Deco
2007-02-15 03:43:32 UTC
Permalink
pffft...
(n/a groups pooped, and fan groups added)
[snecked and archived]
Mother Goose, you probably think that's the
end of it, but it's not.
More psychic astrology.
Most of the following
does not apply to me. I did want to mention
a few d^htings, however...
Drinking again?
Post by Art Deco
<music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
http://youtu.be/ra_9kgqn7DQ
</music>
The time has come to announce the winners of the January 2007 Usenet Kook
Awards. Envelopes, please!
<music>drumroll</music>
BOBO AWARD
BARDLEY ANNUAL "WHINING BABY NEW YEAR" AWARD
KOOK OF THE MONTH
LOONEY MAROON AWARD
TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
TAR & FEATHERS
BUSTED URINAL AWARD
UNABOMBER SURPRISE
GOOFY AZZED BABBOON
72 RAISINS "CRACKPOT RELIGION" AWARD
BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
EDMOND WOLLMANN MEMORIAL RUBBER TURKEY FOR NEW YEARS 2007
**SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT**
Two kooks have met the standards for a special award given out by executive
decision, THE TINFOIL SOMBRERO!
PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
This concludes the announcement of the winners of the January 2007 Usenet
Kook Awards. Forty-four people submitted fourty-one ballots. Five of them
managed to violate the rules in interesting ways: two people voted from an
altered ballot, one person voted for himself/herself, another voted for
himself/herself using an altered ballot (there's always a first for
everything) and one voted in the wrong thread. Fluffy was pleased with the
shredded paper in his litter box. Consequently, thirty-nine ballots were
deemed valid and counted.
See you all early next month, when the buzzards fly north of the Ohio River
and the crocuses begin to bloom. Until then, enjoy and all hail Ming, Bob,
and Fluffy!
And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
MonkeyBoi in the role of Joxer the Mighty. Watch Xena and Gabrielle pwn
him!
<music>"A Man for All Seasons"
http://youtu.be/et2G44-7C7U
</music>
Meow.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco
"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
I encluded the above merely out of the great
respect & asterations that i have for you and
for all your cute, li'l gooselings!...
Looks like you're drunk again.
Post by Art Deco
CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
16 votes Painius of alt.astronomy
13 votes Andrew B Chung
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Pain in the Ass! You now have your second AUK award and a
chance at the Clueless Newbie of the Year for 2007. May your cluelessness
not interfere with your ability to get it on with a hot Sea^H^H^H Space
Mermaid, should Darla ever bother to land the mothership.
Let the record also show that he beat one of the most formidable kooks
to come down the pike in quite a while, namely Andy Chung.
Oddly enough, this WOWs me. I ne'er woulda
thunk it. Eat yer hart out, Andy! PITA RULES!
<g>
Post by Art Deco
COWARD OF THE MONTH
The winner is...JOSEPH BARTLO!
11 votes Joseph Bartlo
09 votes Rebecca Ore
06 votes Steve Chaney
03 votes Painius and Bill Sheppard
You're still cowards.
Only 'cause i aspire to be...
J U S T L I K E Y O U !
<tinikyabwai>
I'll assume now that you'll back this assertion the same way you back
your word salads about cosmology.
Post by Art Deco
PALMJOB PADDLE
Hmm... Bill 'n i go way back; i'm totally surprised
you din't kautch that when you 'searched me.
More psychic astrology.
I know
it don't seem like much, but it's still there...
news:alt.genius.bill-palmer
Your musing are certainly on-topic there.
Post by Art Deco
VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
11 votes Paine Ellsworth AKA Painus of alt.astronomy
10 votes Ernie Primeau
06 votes JTEM of alt.paranormal
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations a second time, Mr. Ellsworth! I wonder, in all the time
you were posting to misc.writing and rec.arts.prose, if you ever thought
you'd win an award for writing science /fiction/?
Submarines, airplanes, modern computers, many
many things were once "merely" SF. I am truly
honored by this hyar award, and i *really* loved
the film, "Wierd Sceince"!
Yet you and your fellow saucerheads like to whine about "physics
cabals" that try to hide your profound truths.
Post by Art Deco
Bravo! "All energy is gravitational" finally gets its proper
recognition.
Someday, you will want to thank me for this.
Please don't, for i value my obscurity above and
beyond almost everthing else.
And now, i must go and maintain my obscure
presence in the outer RL. Tah!
Oh, i almost forgot *you*, Phineas...
Go sukka beeg bonny banana!
Yep, you still can't defend your pseudoscientific ideas. No bad for an
acceptance speech, I guess, but it could have used more foamy lames.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Painius
2007-02-21 07:15:52 UTC
Permalink
Post by Art Deco
pffft...
(n/a groups pooped, and fan groups added)
[snecked and archived]
Your lits is long, lean and ludicrous.
Post by Art Deco
Mother Goose, you probably think that's the
end of it, but it's not.
More psychic astrology.
Nope, just more goosely predictability.
Post by Art Deco
Most of the following
does not apply to me. I did want to mention
a few d^htings, however...
Drinking again?
Does coffee count?
Post by Art Deco
Post by Art Deco
<music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
http://youtu.be/ra_9kgqn7DQ
</music>
The time has come to announce the winners of the January 2007 Usenet Kook
Awards. Envelopes, please!
<music>drumroll</music>
BOBO AWARD
BARDLEY ANNUAL "WHINING BABY NEW YEAR" AWARD
KOOK OF THE MONTH
LOONEY MAROON AWARD
TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
TAR & FEATHERS
BUSTED URINAL AWARD
UNABOMBER SURPRISE
GOOFY AZZED BABBOON
72 RAISINS "CRACKPOT RELIGION" AWARD
BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
EDMOND WOLLMANN MEMORIAL RUBBER TURKEY FOR NEW YEARS 2007
**SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT**
Two kooks have met the standards for a special award given out by executive
decision, THE TINFOIL SOMBRERO!
PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
This concludes the announcement of the winners of the January 2007 Usenet
Kook Awards. Forty-four people submitted fourty-one ballots. Five of them
managed to violate the rules in interesting ways: two people voted from an
altered ballot, one person voted for himself/herself, another voted for
himself/herself using an altered ballot (there's always a first for
everything) and one voted in the wrong thread. Fluffy was pleased with the
shredded paper in his litter box. Consequently, thirty-nine ballots were
deemed valid and counted.
See you all early next month, when the buzzards fly north of the Ohio River
and the crocuses begin to bloom. Until then, enjoy and all hail Ming, Bob,
and Fluffy!
And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
MonkeyBoi in the role of Joxer the Mighty. Watch Xena and Gabrielle pwn
him!
<music>"A Man for All Seasons"
http://youtu.be/et2G44-7C7U
</music>
Meow.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco
"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
I encluded the above merely out of the great
respect & asterations that i have for you and
for all your cute, li'l gooselings!...
Looks like you're drunk again.
What IS this obsession you have with my
sobriety?

Okay, i do drink a little, but not much. And
i haven't been drunk in more years than i care
to count. You do have a point, though. Very
astute! What you may be mistaking for my
being drunk is just my having a...

senior moment?

Been having several of those lately.
Post by Art Deco
Post by Art Deco
CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
16 votes Painius of alt.astronomy
13 votes Andrew B Chung
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Pain in the Ass! You now have your second AUK award
and
a
chance at the Clueless Newbie of the Year for 2007. May your cluelessness
not interfere with your ability to get it on with a hot Sea^H^H^H Space
Mermaid, should Darla ever bother to land the mothership.
Let the record also show that he beat one of the most formidable kooks
to come down the pike in quite a while, namely Andy Chung.
Oddly enough, this WOWs me. I ne'er woulda
thunk it. Eat yer hart out, Andy! PITA RULES!
<g>
Post by Art Deco
COWARD OF THE MONTH
The winner is...JOSEPH BARTLO!
11 votes Joseph Bartlo
09 votes Rebecca Ore
06 votes Steve Chaney
03 votes Painius and Bill Sheppard
You're still cowards.
Only 'cause i aspire to be...
J U S T L I K E Y O U !
<tinikyabwai>
I'll assume now that you'll back this assertion the same way you back
your word salads about cosmology.
Ah! Daniel san... you *must* learn how "assume"
is truly spelled. The very act of assuming makes
an a-s-s out of u-m-e.
Post by Art Deco
Post by Art Deco
PALMJOB PADDLE
Hmm... Bill 'n i go way back; i'm totally surprised
you din't kautch that when you 'searched me.
More psychic astrology.
There you go again, Mother... focusing and
obsessing. This time about mind reading and
the study of astro-effects on our lives. Did you
know that many ancient (and not so ancient)
astronomers also gave astrology readings to
their friends and acquaintances in return for
chickens and stuff? Of course you know this...
you've read my website. Astronomers invented
astrology!

Man! they had a lotta shit to contend with back
then. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! This
is probably why Stonehenge and other such
places were originally constructed... to protect
those ancient naked-eye stargazers from being
mauled and eaten by nocturnal hunters!

And this still goes on, BTW... one time while
in an orange grove staring up at the Andromeda
galaxy, i almost sat on a huge, sleeping gator!
Did you know that an alligator can run faster
than a dog?

Yeah, i know... i'm rambling. Just another senior
moment.
Post by Art Deco
I know
it don't seem like much, but it's still there...
news:alt.genius.bill-palmer
Your musing are certainly on-topic there.
Seems like not much of *anything* is on topic
there, these days. I posted a little ketchup note
to Bill last week in a.g.b-p, and there have been
no other postings since then. Sad when the good
ol' days pass away, ain't it?
Post by Art Deco
Post by Art Deco
VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
11 votes Paine Ellsworth AKA Painus of alt.astronomy
10 votes Ernie Primeau
06 votes JTEM of alt.paranormal
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations a second time, Mr. Ellsworth! I wonder, in all the time
you were posting to misc.writing and rec.arts.prose, if you ever thought
you'd win an award for writing science /fiction/?
Submarines, airplanes, modern computers, many
many things were once "merely" SF. I am truly
honored by this hyar award, and i *really* loved
the film, "Wierd Sceince"!
Yet you and your fellow saucerheads like to whine about "physics
cabals" that try to hide your profound truths.
LOL... please produce one instance where i've
done this. I happen to revere the astronomers
and physicists here and in s.a. Many scientists
are busy sitting back on their laurels, however
the people who post here, no matter how staid
and straight-laced they may appear to the rest
of us [tinu], well, at least they *are here*. I
find their stability and well-trained influence to
be an absolute need, an important, crucial part
of the quest for knowledge.
Post by Art Deco
Post by Art Deco
Bravo! "All energy is gravitational" finally gets its proper
recognition.
Someday, you will want to thank me for this.
Please don't, for i value my obscurity above and
beyond almost everthing else.
And now, i must go and maintain my obscure
presence in the outer RL. Tah!
Oh, i almost forgot *you*, Phineas...
Go sukka beeg bonny banana!
Yep, you still can't defend your pseudoscientific ideas. No bad for an
acceptance speech, I guess, but it could have used more foamy lames.
Yes, i guess i forgot how much you need to
be made to feel unimportant and useless,
Mother. I'll try to do better in the future.

Now, how 'bout we talk more about flowing
space? That's what i wanna talk about. Just
think about it, Massuh! Some kind of "field",
that's what Einstein called it...

space as field

...but a field of *what*, really?

Wolter and Sheppard say that it's a field of
energy that vibrates at wavelengths that are
shorter than the Planck length. So we have
been calling it the "sub-Planck energy domain"
or "SPED".

But lately, i've been having a bit of a problem
thinking about space as an energy field. All
the energies we know of are less dense than
matter. And yet Wolter and Sheppard assert
that the energy which space is made of is far
*more* dense than matter. So maybe we
shouldn't be calling it "energy" at all. But then,
if not "energy", what is it? Some kind of
"plasma" maybe?

Now, please try to focus on Einstein's awesome
idea of "space as field", and not on any of the
usual red herrings you seem to love so well.
Let's talk "flowing space", Massuh Goose!

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
FREEDOM... "no limits" excepting the sky!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-21 07:32:19 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Now, how 'bout we talk more about flowing
space? That's what i wanna talk about. Just
think about it, Massuh! Some kind of "field",
that's what Einstein called it...
space as field
...but a field of *what*, really?
Post one prediction. I'm still waiting remember.,
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Painius
2007-02-21 12:54:43 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Now, how 'bout we talk more about flowing
space? That's what i wanna talk about. Just
think about it, Massuh! Some kind of "field",
that's what Einstein called it...
space as field
...but a field of *what*, really?
Post one prediction. I'm still waiting remember.,
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
You seem to want to know what "space as field"
would lead to in physical reality. As Einstein
proposed when he indicated that space is a field
under his "relativistic field theory of space", this
field theory is an integral part of his theory of
general relativity.

And since GR is all about what causes "gravity",
Einstein was theorizing this "space as field" as a
cause of gravity.

So one prediction of his last theory of "space as
field" would be that your skinny ass won't go
floating off into space...

...unfortunately for the rest of us <g>

[tinu]

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
FREEDOM... "no limits" excepting the sky!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
o***@sbcglobal.net
2007-02-21 15:55:23 UTC
Permalink
On Feb 21, 4:54 am, "Painius" <***@maol.com> wrote:

<... And since GR is all about what causes "gravity"...>

Aye yie YIE, Paine. ARRrrgh. Gotta holler at you on that one. GR is
all about _describing the effect_ we CALL "gravity". It scrupulously
evades any intimation of _explaining the literal, causal mechanism_.

At all cost, the Great Taboo must not be violated. And the G.T. is
simply to recognize gravity for what it *demonstrates itself* to be -
a pressure-driven, accelerating flow into mass with mass synonymous
with flow sink. There's nothing complicated or mysterious about the
_cause_ of gravity... or the "curvature of space" being a descriptive
metaphor of the acceleration rate of the inflow. Hrrumph

oc
Painius
2007-02-21 17:24:52 UTC
Permalink
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
<... And since GR is all about what causes "gravity"...>
Aye yie YIE, Paine. ARRrrgh. Gotta holler at you on that one. GR is
all about _describing the effect_ we CALL "gravity". It scrupulously
evades any intimation of _explaining the literal, causal mechanism_.
At all cost, the Great Taboo must not be violated. And the G.T. is
simply to recognize gravity for what it *demonstrates itself* to be -
a pressure-driven, accelerating flow into mass with mass synonymous
with flow sink. There's nothing complicated or mysterious about the
_cause_ of gravity... or the "curvature of space" being a descriptive
metaphor of the acceleration rate of the inflow. Hrrumph
oc
Now please don't let my words upset, Bill. You're
right and you're wrong on this. GR is all about
describing the effects of gravity, yes, but nobody
can argue that GR was Einstein's great attempt to
apply as much of SR as he could to the challenge
of gravity. GR, in describing the effects of gravity,
was and is the best scientific attempt thus far at
describing the *cause* of gravity.

GR does not--i strongly repeat, _*does not*_
scrupulously evade any intimation of _explaining
the literal, causal mechanism_ of gravity. Einstein
was quite clear (well, to me, anyway) in Appendix
V that he believed the causal mechanism to be a
field that space is made of.

And in writing about this, Einstein himself took
the very first step to violate the Great Taboo of
his own making.

Wolter, you, Lindner and others, whether you
knew it or not, have been taking Einstein's last
theory, his "relativistic field theory of space", to
the next level. And yes, it does follow...

If space is some kind of field that causes
gravity, then it must do so by "flowing"
into matter.

I still wonder if Wolter had ever read or heard of
Appendix V? You keep saying that he came up
with flowing space as a sidebar to his CBB theory.
And history shows that such ideas can be had by
different people independently, so it's not unheard
of that Wolter could have had virtually the same
idea as Einstein had about space. And yet, i still
wonder? Didn't you say that you spoke with him
about all this *after* Einstein wrote App. V in the
summer of '52?

If so, then it's entirely possible that Wolter got
the idea for his sidebar of flowing space from the
great master himself!

For me, though, the important thing is not *who*
thought of it, no. The important thing is how
close the thought brings us to physical reality.
And to me, the idea of space being made of a
field that flows into matter and causes gravity is
more attractive than the biggest magnetic field
in the Universe!

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
FREEDOM... "no limits" excepting the sky!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
John Zinni
2007-02-21 18:25:38 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
<... And since GR is all about what causes "gravity"...>
Aye yie YIE, Paine. ARRrrgh. Gotta holler at you on that one. GR is
all about _describing the effect_ we CALL "gravity". It scrupulously
evades any intimation of _explaining the literal, causal mechanism_.
At all cost, the Great Taboo must not be violated. And the G.T. is
simply to recognize gravity for what it *demonstrates itself* to be -
a pressure-driven, accelerating flow into mass with mass synonymous
with flow sink. There's nothing complicated or mysterious about the
_cause_ of gravity... or the "curvature of space" being a descriptive
metaphor of the acceleration rate of the inflow. Hrrumph
oc
Now please don't let my words upset, Bill. You're
right and you're wrong on this. GR is all about
describing the effects of gravity, yes, but nobody
can argue that GR was Einstein's great attempt to
apply as much of SR as he could to the challenge
of gravity. GR, in describing the effects of gravity,
was and is the best scientific attempt thus far at
describing the *cause* of gravity.
GR does not--i strongly repeat, _*does not*_
scrupulously evade any intimation of _explaining
the literal, causal mechanism_ of gravity. Einstein
was quite clear (well, to me, anyway) in Appendix
V that he believed the causal mechanism to be a
field that space is made of.
And in writing about this, Einstein himself took
the very first step to violate the Great Taboo of
his own making.
Wolter, you, Lindner and others, whether you
knew it or not, have been taking Einstein's last
theory, his "relativistic field theory of space", to
the next level. And yes, it does follow...
If space is some kind of field that causes
gravity, then it must do so by "flowing"
into matter.
I still wonder if Wolter had ever read or heard of
Appendix V? You keep saying that he came up
with flowing space as a sidebar to his CBB theory.
And history shows that such ideas can be had by
different people independently, so it's not unheard
of that Wolter could have had virtually the same
idea as Einstein had about space. And yet, i still
wonder? Didn't you say that you spoke with him
about all this *after* Einstein wrote App. V in the
summer of '52?
If so, then it's entirely possible that Wolter got
the idea for his sidebar of flowing space from the
great master himself!
For me, though, the important thing is not *who*
thought of it, no. The important thing is how
close the thought brings us to physical reality.
And to me, the idea of space being made of a
field that flows into matter and causes gravity is
more attractive than the biggest magnetic field
in the Universe!
You just keep getting a little more loony with each passing day.
Post by Painius
happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
FREEDOM... "no limits" excepting the sky!
Indelibly yours,
Painehttp://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-21 19:26:55 UTC
Permalink
Post by John Zinni
Post by Painius
I still wonder if Wolter had ever read or heard of
Appendix V? You keep saying that he came up
with flowing space as a sidebar to his CBB theory.
And history shows that such ideas can be had by
different people independently, so it's not unheard
of that Wolter could have had virtually the same
idea as Einstein had about space. And yet, i still
wonder? Didn't you say that you spoke with him
about all this *after* Einstein wrote App. V in the
summer of '52?
If so, then it's entirely possible that Wolter got
the idea for his sidebar of flowing space from the
great master himself!
For me, though, the important thing is not *who*
thought of it, no. The important thing is how
close the thought brings us to physical reality.
And to me, the idea of space being made of a
field that flows into matter and causes gravity is
more attractive than the biggest magnetic field
in the Universe!
You just keep getting a little more loony with each passing day.
And considering their baseline, its quite an achievement. Hopefully the Seans
will take them to the cosmic asylum soon.
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Painius
2007-02-21 21:25:41 UTC
Permalink
Post by John Zinni
Post by Painius
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
<... And since GR is all about what causes "gravity"...>
Aye yie YIE, Paine. ARRrrgh. Gotta holler at you on that one. GR is
all about _describing the effect_ we CALL "gravity". It scrupulously
evades any intimation of _explaining the literal, causal mechanism_.
At all cost, the Great Taboo must not be violated. And the G.T. is
simply to recognize gravity for what it *demonstrates itself* to be -
a pressure-driven, accelerating flow into mass with mass synonymous
with flow sink. There's nothing complicated or mysterious about the
_cause_ of gravity... or the "curvature of space" being a descriptive
metaphor of the acceleration rate of the inflow. Hrrumph
oc
Now please don't let my words upset, Bill. You're
right and you're wrong on this. GR is all about
describing the effects of gravity, yes, but nobody
can argue that GR was Einstein's great attempt to
apply as much of SR as he could to the challenge
of gravity. GR, in describing the effects of gravity,
was and is the best scientific attempt thus far at
describing the *cause* of gravity.
GR does not--i strongly repeat, _*does not*_
scrupulously evade any intimation of _explaining
the literal, causal mechanism_ of gravity. Einstein
was quite clear (well, to me, anyway) in Appendix
V that he believed the causal mechanism to be a
field that space is made of.
And in writing about this, Einstein himself took
the very first step to violate the Great Taboo of
his own making.
Wolter, you, Lindner and others, whether you
knew it or not, have been taking Einstein's last
theory, his "relativistic field theory of space", to
the next level. And yes, it does follow...
If space is some kind of field that causes
gravity, then it must do so by "flowing"
into matter.
I still wonder if Wolter had ever read or heard of
Appendix V? You keep saying that he came up
with flowing space as a sidebar to his CBB theory.
And history shows that such ideas can be had by
different people independently, so it's not unheard
of that Wolter could have had virtually the same
idea as Einstein had about space. And yet, i still
wonder? Didn't you say that you spoke with him
about all this *after* Einstein wrote App. V in the
summer of '52?
If so, then it's entirely possible that Wolter got
the idea for his sidebar of flowing space from the
great master himself!
For me, though, the important thing is not *who*
thought of it, no. The important thing is how
close the thought brings us to physical reality.
And to me, the idea of space being made of a
field that flows into matter and causes gravity is
more attractive than the biggest magnetic field
in the Universe!
You just keep getting a little more loony with each passing day.
If you're humping my leg to seem obtuse, you
are succeeding very well, Johnny.

Why, prey tell, is it loony to interpret Einstein
this way?

Seems crazier to me to ignore him (as science
seems to have done for over 50 years!).

So tell me, Zinni... why do *you* think that
physics has completely ignored Appendix V???

Couldn't be age, because he was only about
72 when he wrote App. V. So what do you
think? (if you can think at all, that is)

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
FREEDOM... "no limits" excepting the sky!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
John Zinni
2007-02-22 00:08:52 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Post by John Zinni
Post by Painius
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
<... And since GR is all about what causes "gravity"...>
Aye yie YIE, Paine. ARRrrgh. Gotta holler at you on that one. GR is
all about _describing the effect_ we CALL "gravity". It scrupulously
evades any intimation of _explaining the literal, causal mechanism_.
At all cost, the Great Taboo must not be violated. And the G.T. is
simply to recognize gravity for what it *demonstrates itself* to be -
a pressure-driven, accelerating flow into mass with mass synonymous
with flow sink. There's nothing complicated or mysterious about the
_cause_ of gravity... or the "curvature of space" being a descriptive
metaphor of the acceleration rate of the inflow. Hrrumph
oc
Now please don't let my words upset, Bill. You're
right and you're wrong on this. GR is all about
describing the effects of gravity, yes, but nobody
can argue that GR was Einstein's great attempt to
apply as much of SR as he could to the challenge
of gravity. GR, in describing the effects of gravity,
was and is the best scientific attempt thus far at
describing the *cause* of gravity.
GR does not--i strongly repeat, _*does not*_
scrupulously evade any intimation of _explaining
the literal, causal mechanism_ of gravity. Einstein
was quite clear (well, to me, anyway) in Appendix
V that he believed the causal mechanism to be a
field that space is made of.
And in writing about this, Einstein himself took
the very first step to violate the Great Taboo of
his own making.
Wolter, you, Lindner and others, whether you
knew it or not, have been taking Einstein's last
theory, his "relativistic field theory of space", to
the next level. And yes, it does follow...
If space is some kind of field that causes
gravity, then it must do so by "flowing"
into matter.
I still wonder if Wolter had ever read or heard of
Appendix V? You keep saying that he came up
with flowing space as a sidebar to his CBB theory.
And history shows that such ideas can be had by
different people independently, so it's not unheard
of that Wolter could have had virtually the same
idea as Einstein had about space. And yet, i still
wonder? Didn't you say that you spoke with him
about all this *after* Einstein wrote App. V in the
summer of '52?
If so, then it's entirely possible that Wolter got
the idea for his sidebar of flowing space from the
great master himself!
For me, though, the important thing is not *who*
thought of it, no. The important thing is how
close the thought brings us to physical reality.
And to me, the idea of space being made of a
field that flows into matter and causes gravity is
more attractive than the biggest magnetic field
in the Universe!
You just keep getting a little more loony with each passing day.
If you're humping my leg to seem obtuse, you
are succeeding very well, Johnny.
Why, prey tell, is it loony to interpret Einstein
this way?
Seems crazier to me to ignore him (as science
seems to have done for over 50 years!).
So tell me, Zinni... why do *you* think that
physics has completely ignored Appendix V???
You don't know what you're talking about.
You state above ....

"Einstein
was quite clear (well, to me, anyway) in Appendix
V that he believed the causal mechanism to be a
field that space is made of.
And in writing about this, Einstein himself took
the very first step to violate the Great Taboo of
his own making."
- Painius -

Once again demonstrating that you don't know waht you'r talking about.

Have you ever considered why the equations of GR are called ...

... "Einstein's *** F I E L D *** equations" ???

(or perhaps you just didn't know that)
Post by Painius
Couldn't be age, because he was only about
72 when he wrote App. V. So what do you
think? (if you can think at all, that is)
happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
FREEDOM... "no limits" excepting the sky!
Indelibly yours,
Painehttp://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -
Painius
2007-02-22 01:50:48 UTC
Permalink
Post by John Zinni
Post by Painius
Post by John Zinni
Post by Painius
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
<... And since GR is all about what causes "gravity"...>
Aye yie YIE, Paine. ARRrrgh. Gotta holler at you on that one. GR is
all about _describing the effect_ we CALL "gravity". It scrupulously
evades any intimation of _explaining the literal, causal mechanism_.
At all cost, the Great Taboo must not be violated. And the G.T. is
simply to recognize gravity for what it *demonstrates itself* to be -
a pressure-driven, accelerating flow into mass with mass synonymous
with flow sink. There's nothing complicated or mysterious about the
_cause_ of gravity... or the "curvature of space" being a descriptive
metaphor of the acceleration rate of the inflow. Hrrumph
oc
Now please don't let my words upset, Bill. You're
right and you're wrong on this. GR is all about
describing the effects of gravity, yes, but nobody
can argue that GR was Einstein's great attempt to
apply as much of SR as he could to the challenge
of gravity. GR, in describing the effects of gravity,
was and is the best scientific attempt thus far at
describing the *cause* of gravity.
GR does not--i strongly repeat, _*does not*_
scrupulously evade any intimation of _explaining
the literal, causal mechanism_ of gravity. Einstein
was quite clear (well, to me, anyway) in Appendix
V that he believed the causal mechanism to be a
field that space is made of.
And in writing about this, Einstein himself took
the very first step to violate the Great Taboo of
his own making.
Wolter, you, Lindner and others, whether you
knew it or not, have been taking Einstein's last
theory, his "relativistic field theory of space", to
the next level. And yes, it does follow...
If space is some kind of field that causes
gravity, then it must do so by "flowing"
into matter.
I still wonder if Wolter had ever read or heard of
Appendix V? You keep saying that he came up
with flowing space as a sidebar to his CBB theory.
And history shows that such ideas can be had by
different people independently, so it's not unheard
of that Wolter could have had virtually the same
idea as Einstein had about space. And yet, i still
wonder? Didn't you say that you spoke with him
about all this *after* Einstein wrote App. V in the
summer of '52?
If so, then it's entirely possible that Wolter got
the idea for his sidebar of flowing space from the
great master himself!
For me, though, the important thing is not *who*
thought of it, no. The important thing is how
close the thought brings us to physical reality.
And to me, the idea of space being made of a
field that flows into matter and causes gravity is
more attractive than the biggest magnetic field
in the Universe!
You just keep getting a little more loony with each passing day.
If you're humping my leg to seem obtuse, you
are succeeding very well, Johnny.
Why, prey tell, is it loony to interpret Einstein
this way?
Seems crazier to me to ignore him (as science
seems to have done for over 50 years!).
So tell me, Zinni... why do *you* think that
physics has completely ignored Appendix V???
You don't know what you're talking about.
You state above ....
"Einstein
was quite clear (well, to me, anyway) in Appendix
V that he believed the causal mechanism to be a
field that space is made of.
And in writing about this, Einstein himself took
the very first step to violate the Great Taboo of
his own making."
- Painius -
Once again demonstrating that you don't know waht you'r talking about.
Have you ever considered why the equations of GR are called ...
... "Einstein's *** F I E L D *** equations" ???
(or perhaps you just didn't know that)
Actually, John, you get an "e" for effort on this one.
I must admit, you seem to be coming along. Okay...

Can we agree that...

... "Einstein's *** F I E L D *** equations" ...

...were first called "field equations" because they
were all about the *gravitational* field that science
to this day believes is emanated from a planet, a
star, even the tiny atom?

http://archive.ncsa.uiuc.edu/Cyberia/NumRel/EinsteinEquations.html

So the "field" in the term "Einstein's field equations"
has been all about the gravity field that surrounds a
mass and stretches out into "void space".

You know this and i know this. Another thing we
both know is that Einstein was *not* writing about
a gravitational field that surrounds a mass when he
defined his last theory in Appendix V...

". . . By this is meant a theory which describes
exhaustively physical reality, including four-
dimensional space, by a field. . . ."

Einstein's own hand wrote these words, and they
bear repeating...

". . . By this is meant a theory which describes
exhaustively physical reality, including four-
dimensional space, by a field. . . ."

He was not writing here about the gravitational
field that surrounds a planet, star, or atom. He
was writing about a field that EVERYTHING is
made of.

*Everything*, "including four-dimensional space",
can be described "by a field".

We can only guess at why he believed this, for he
did not elaborate much except to give us many
hints, both in his introduction to the appendix and
in Appendix V itself. He left us no new "field"
equations that i know of, and this might be a good
thing. After all, it took science 75 years to figure
out his GR field equations, so we would probably
*still* be trying to figure out any new equations
he may have derived regarding "space as field".

You may be right, John. I might not know what
i'm talking about. But Einstein's words above and
in Appendix V seem clear enough to me...

Einstein believed that what we call "gravity" is
caused somehow by the fact that EVERYTHING,
Earth, Sun, Moon, space-time, EVERYTHING is,
in reality, a field.

Space-time is not a void that matter and energy
reside in and are contained in. Matter, energy
and space-time are all the same continuous field...

"(by adding a fifth appendix) I wished to show
that space-time is not necessarily something to
which one can ascribe a separate existence,
independently of the actual objects of physical
reality. Physical objects are not _in space_, but
these objects are _spatially extended_. In this
way the concept 'empty space' loses its meaning."

Excerpt from "Note to the 15th edition" of...
_RELATIVITY - The Special and the General Theory_
June 9th, 1952 A. Einstein

Now if space is described by a field, and if this field
causes what we know as gravity, how else would it
do this but by FLOWING INTO MATTER???

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
FREEDOM... "no limits" excepting the sky!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-22 19:35:18 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Now if space is described by a field, and if this field
causes what we know as gravity, how else would it
do this but by FLOWING INTO MATTER???
You truly don't understand fields, do you.
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Painius
2007-02-22 21:06:02 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Now if space is described by a field, and if this field
causes what we know as gravity, how else would it
do this but by FLOWING INTO MATTER???
You truly don't understand fields, do you.
Why beat around the bush, Mother... if you agree
with me, then just say so.

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
SPACE... the Final Flowing Frontier!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-22 21:10:04 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Now if space is described by a field, and if this field
causes what we know as gravity, how else would it
do this but by FLOWING INTO MATTER???
You truly don't understand fields, do you.
Why beat around the bush, Mother... if you agree
with me, then just say so.
The frequency of your lames (together with their patheticness) is re;ated to
the amount of outstanding questions you are unable to answer.
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Art Deco
2007-02-24 02:16:28 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Now if space is described by a field, and if this field
causes what we know as gravity, how else would it
do this but by FLOWING INTO MATTER???
How does the field get back to where it came from?
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-24 02:32:56 UTC
Permalink
Post by Art Deco
Post by Painius
Now if space is described by a field, and if this field
causes what we know as gravity, how else would it
do this but by FLOWING INTO MATTER???
How does the field get back to where it came from?
And is the electric, magnetic field(s) also a fluid? Painius is so hooked up
with APP V which is a fave of loonies who think they can overturn modern
physics with a piece of string and a chicken bone.
--
Painius admits he cannot answer a single question to NB:
(How many days till he replies - best guess is five!)
"Yes, you're right of course, NB. And they get very useless very quickly.
I shall do my best to ignore them, as you wish."
Art Deco
2007-02-24 17:07:53 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Art Deco
Post by Painius
Now if space is described by a field, and if this field
causes what we know as gravity, how else would it
do this but by FLOWING INTO MATTER???
How does the field get back to where it came from?
And is the electric, magnetic field(s) also a fluid? Painius is so hooked up
with APP V which is a fave of loonies who think they can overturn modern
physics with a piece of string and a chicken bone.
That comes from studying the forest from an altitude of 200 km.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Art Deco
2007-02-24 02:15:08 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Post by John Zinni
Post by Painius
For me, though, the important thing is not *who*
thought of it, no. The important thing is how
close the thought brings us to physical reality.
And to me, the idea of space being made of a
field that flows into matter and causes gravity is
more attractive than the biggest magnetic field
in the Universe!
You just keep getting a little more loony with each passing day.
If you're humping my leg to seem obtuse, you
are succeeding very well, Johnny.
Are you able to argue anything without resorting to lames and logical
fallacies?
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-24 02:32:02 UTC
Permalink
Post by Art Deco
Post by Painius
Post by John Zinni
Post by Painius
For me, though, the important thing is not *who*
thought of it, no. The important thing is how
close the thought brings us to physical reality.
And to me, the idea of space being made of a
field that flows into matter and causes gravity is
more attractive than the biggest magnetic field
in the Universe!
You just keep getting a little more loony with each passing day.
If you're humping my leg to seem obtuse, you
are succeeding very well, Johnny.
Are you able to argue anything without resorting to lames and logical
fallacies?
I guess this was a rhetorical question ;-) ?
--
Painius admits he cannot answer a single question to NB:
(How many days till he replies - best guess is five!)
"Yes, you're right of course, NB. And they get very useless very quickly.
I shall do my best to ignore them, as you wish."
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-21 19:26:20 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
I still wonder if Wolter had ever read or heard of
Appendix V? You keep saying that he came up
with flowing space as a sidebar to his CBB theory.
And history shows that such ideas can be had by
different people independently, so it's not unheard
of that Wolter could have had virtually the same
idea as Einstein had about space. And yet, i still
wonder? Didn't you say that you spoke with him
about all this *after* Einstein wrote App. V in the
summer of '52?
Yep, I wonder if this imaginary person read the words that Painius put in a
dead mans mouth?
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Painius
2007-02-21 21:39:06 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
I still wonder if Wolter had ever read or heard of
Appendix V? You keep saying that he came up
with flowing space as a sidebar to his CBB theory.
And history shows that such ideas can be had by
different people independently, so it's not unheard
of that Wolter could have had virtually the same
idea as Einstein had about space. And yet, i still
wonder? Didn't you say that you spoke with him
about all this *after* Einstein wrote App. V in the
summer of '52?
Yep, I wonder if this imaginary person read the words that Painius put in a
dead mans mouth?
Phineas you ignorant slut...

Why do you persist in this? Who do you think
you're fooling? I posted Einstein's exact wording
from an appendix (V) he wrote in a book that he
had written about relativity.

And i have never, ever attributed any words to
Einstein that he did not write in that appendix,
nor would i ever do such a thing!

It's easily checked just by reading App. V for
yourself. The fact that you obviously haven't
done so reflects poorly on your credibility and
intelligence. I doubt if you'll be able to pass
that astrophysics course. You don't seem to
be willing (or able) to do the work.

You're such a bad liar that you're not really
fooling anybody. All you're doing is digging
your own grave, you silly goose.

<sigh> but i guess if that's what you want...

dig away, li'l momma.

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
FREEDOM... "no limits" excepting the sky!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-21 21:50:03 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Phineas you ignorant slut...
*DING*
Post by Painius
Why do you persist in this? Who do you think
you're fooling? I posted Einstein's exact wording
from an appendix (V) he wrote in a book that he
had written about relativity.
Yet they're only words. You keep on insisting theres an underlying meaning with
no grounding
Post by Painius
And i have never, ever attributed any words to
Einstein that he did not write in that appendix,
nor would i ever do such a thing!
It's easily checked just by reading App. V for
yourself. The fact that you obviously haven't
done so reflects poorly on your credibility and
intelligence. I doubt if you'll be able to pass
that astrophysics course. You don't seem to
be willing (or able) to do the work.
You keep on believing that. Its just another example of your amazing powers of
denial.


It doesn't give you a remit not to answer my questions of course. Its merely
another one of your multitudinous logical fallacies where you seem to think you
have a reason not to answer my questions
Post by Painius
You're such a bad liar that you're not really
fooling anybody. All you're doing is digging
your own grave, you silly goose.
But yet you keep on running away....
Post by Painius
<sigh> but i guess if that's what you want...
dig away, li'l momma.
happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Painius
2007-02-21 22:30:42 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Phineas you ignorant slut...
*DING*
Ah, yes, yet another *ding*bat!
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Why do you persist in this? Who do you think
you're fooling? I posted Einstein's exact wording
from an appendix (V) he wrote in a book that he
had written about relativity.
Yet they're only words. You keep on insisting theres an underlying meaning with
no grounding
". . . only words"? Words that Einstein wrote are
not "only" words, you putz, they're his near-death
legacy to science and to the global hunt for truth!

What you negatively call my "insisting there's an
underlying meaning" is just logical conjecture
grounded upon Einstein's thoughts as he set them
forth in his Appendix V.
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
And i have never, ever attributed any words to
Einstein that he did not write in that appendix,
nor would i ever do such a thing!
It's easily checked just by reading App. V for
yourself. The fact that you obviously haven't
done so reflects poorly on your credibility and
intelligence. I doubt if you'll be able to pass
that astrophysics course. You don't seem to
be willing (or able) to do the work.
You keep on believing that. Its just another example of your amazing powers of
denial.
PKB... you're the Queen, Mother.
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
It doesn't give you a remit not to answer my questions of course. Its merely
another one of your multitudinous logical fallacies where you seem to think you
have a reason not to answer my questions
This is not entirely true. I've answered all of your
questions that i felt qualified to answer as best i
could. I cannot help the fact that you're a blatantly
excessive fibber who cannot grasp the simplest of
concepts. You just cut 'n paste hoping somebody
will think you're well-trained in astrophysics. In
reality, you're fooling absolutely no one. You're
just not adept at poker-facing.

That's ok, tho', because neither am i.
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
You're such a bad liar that you're not really
fooling anybody. All you're doing is digging
your own grave, you silly goose.
But yet you keep on running away....
Here i am, you turd. I don't run away, i just have
other things besides posting to UseNet that i also
like to do. And until you can answer the crucial
questions IN ENGLISH and not in the "word salad"
you love so well, and without resorting to pixies
and fairies and magical, all powerful geometry to
explain gravity, then you don't have a web-footed
leg to stand on. And i shall continue to consider
Einstein's "space as field" theory to be a real and
valid answer to the question,

"What causes gravity?"

and i shall try to logically deduce what he meant
by a "relativistic field theory of space".

Right now, the Wolter/Sheppard "flowing space"
idea is shaping up very well, to my thinking!

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
FREEDOM... "no limits" excepting the sky!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-22 19:30:35 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
". . . only words"? Words that Einstein wrote are
not "only" words, you putz, they're his near-death
legacy to science and to the global hunt for truth!
What you negatively call my "insisting there's an
underlying meaning" is just logical conjecture
grounded upon Einstein's thoughts as he set them
forth in his Appendix V.
Shame you don't understand Einstein.
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Painius
2007-02-22 19:42:30 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
". . . only words"? Words that Einstein wrote are
not "only" words, you putz, they're his near-death
legacy to science and to the global hunt for truth!
What you negatively call my "insisting there's an
underlying meaning" is just logical conjecture
grounded upon Einstein's thoughts as he set them
forth in his Appendix V.
Shame you don't understand Einstein.
Dead giveaway, Mother... if you really "are" who
you say you are, you wouldn't leave it at that. If
you really understood Einstein yourself, you then
would do your best to explain how *you* think
Einstein's App. V ought to be interpreted.

Fact is, you understand Einstein less even than i
do. If i'm wrong, then tell me what you think he
meant when he wrote Appendix V.

You won't do it, though, because you're a posier
impersonating a human being. And doing a very
poor job of it.

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
SPACE... the Final Flowing Frontier!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-22 19:48:37 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Dead giveaway, Mother... if you really "are" who
you say you are, you wouldn't leave it at that. If
you really understood Einstein yourself, you then
would do your best to explain how *you* think
Einstein's App. V ought to be interpreted.
You've already proved you don't understand science, kook.
Post by Painius
Fact is, you understand Einstein less even than i
do. If i'm wrong, then tell me what you think he
meant when he wrote Appendix V.
I have a huge stack of unanswered questions Kook.
Post by Painius
You won't do it, though, because you're a posier
impersonating a human being. And doing a very
poor job of it.
Painsnuh lames!
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Painius
2007-02-22 21:14:24 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Dead giveaway, Mother... if you really "are" who
you say you are, you wouldn't leave it at that. If
you really understood Einstein yourself, you then
would do your best to explain how *you* think
Einstein's App. V ought to be interpreted.
You've already proved you don't understand science, kook.
And you've once again proved that i'm correct...
You haven't a clue about Appendix V. All you can
do is foam at the mouth.
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Fact is, you understand Einstein less even than i
do. If i'm wrong, then tell me what you think he
meant when he wrote Appendix V.
I have a huge stack of unanswered questions Kook.
Tell me what you think Einstein meant when he
wrote Appendix V, mon liege.
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
You won't do it, though, because you're a posier
impersonating a human being. And doing a very
poor job of it.
Painsnuh lames!
Well don't beg for them so hard, Massuh Mammy!

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
SPACE... the Final Flowing Frontier!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-22 21:16:35 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Dead giveaway, Mother... if you really "are" who
you say you are, you wouldn't leave it at that. If
you really understood Einstein yourself, you then
would do your best to explain how *you* think
Einstein's App. V ought to be interpreted.
You've already proved you don't understand science, kook.
And you've once again proved that i'm correct...
You haven't a clue about Appendix V. All you can
do is foam at the mouth.
You believe that....
Post by Painius
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Fact is, you understand Einstein less even than i
do. If i'm wrong, then tell me what you think he
meant when he wrote Appendix V.
I have a huge stack of unanswered questions Kook.
Tell me what you think Einstein meant when he
wrote Appendix V, mon liege.
I have at least 10 unanswered questions. You first
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Jade hasn't said anything about this nym yet...
2007-02-22 21:32:15 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Dead giveaway, Mother... if you really "are" who
you say you are, you wouldn't leave it at that. If
you really understood Einstein yourself, you then
would do your best to explain how *you* think
Einstein's App. V ought to be interpreted.
You've already proved you don't understand science, kook.
And you've once again proved that i'm correct...
You haven't a clue about Appendix V. All you can
do is foam at the mouth.
You believe that....
Post by Painius
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Fact is, you understand Einstein less even than i
do. If i'm wrong, then tell me what you think he
meant when he wrote Appendix V.
I have a huge stack of unanswered questions Kook.
Tell me what you think Einstein meant when he
wrote Appendix V, mon liege.
I have at least 10 unanswered questions. You first
how about if *i* ask the questions, here? :]
--
jade hasn't said anything about my new sig, either.

Rob "Mop Jockey" "Roberta" Wolfe
OFISHIAL Benevolent Dictator of AUK
HAotM, ConT, dw:OPP, ASPCA , HAND, FOAD
Loading Image...
<insert more imaginary titles here later>
--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-22 19:31:14 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
This is not entirely true. I've answered all of your
questions that i felt qualified to answer as best i
could. I cannot help the fact that you're a blatantly
excessive fibber who cannot grasp the simplest of
concepts. You just cut 'n paste hoping somebody
will think you're well-trained in astrophysics. In
reality, you're fooling absolutely no one. You're
just not adept at poker-facing.
That's ok, tho', because neither am i.
Well, the interesting fact is that the Google archive will prove what an utter
liar you are ;-)
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Painius
2007-02-22 19:43:44 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
This is not entirely true. I've answered all of your
questions that i felt qualified to answer as best i
could. I cannot help the fact that you're a blatantly
excessive fibber who cannot grasp the simplest of
concepts. You just cut 'n paste hoping somebody
will think you're well-trained in astrophysics. In
reality, you're fooling absolutely no one. You're
just not adept at poker-facing.
That's ok, tho', because neither am i.
Well, the interesting fact is that the Google archive will prove what an utter
liar you are ;-)
You wish.

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
SPACE... the Final Flowing Frontier!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-22 19:49:08 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Well, the interesting fact is that the Google archive will prove what an utter
liar you are ;-)
You wish.
Ah I see what you did there. You mistyped.

Its "You Know"
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-22 19:31:56 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Here i am, you turd. I don't run away, i just have
other things besides posting to UseNet that i also
like to do.
Like evading questions.

And until you can answer the crucial
Post by Painius
questions IN ENGLISH and not in the "word salad"
you love so well, and without resorting to pixies
and fairies and magical, all powerful geometry to
explain gravity, then you don't have a web-footed
leg to stand on. And i shall continue to consider
Einstein's "space as field" theory to be a real and
valid answer to the question,
"What causes gravity?"
and i shall try to logically deduce what he meant
by a "relativistic field theory of space".
GR explanation was given to you. You're just too stupid to understand it - much
like you think there is no higher elements then He in SNR's
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Painius
2007-02-22 19:51:44 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Here i am, you turd. I don't run away, i just have
other things besides posting to UseNet that i also
like to do.
Like evading questions.
I owe you nothing, Mother. You're less than
the "void" of space. You have no field. So
you cannot flow.
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
And until you can answer the crucial
questions IN ENGLISH and not in the "word salad"
you love so well, and without resorting to pixies
and fairies and magical, all powerful geometry to
explain gravity, then you don't have a web-footed
leg to stand on. And i shall continue to consider
Einstein's "space as field" theory to be a real and
valid answer to the question,
"What causes gravity?"
and i shall try to logically deduce what he meant
by a "relativistic field theory of space".
GR explanation was given to you. You're just too stupid to understand it - much
like you think there is no higher elements then He in SNR's
Again, the answer of a slapstick posier who knows
absolutely nothing about the subject at hand. All
you can do is resort to the warped imaginings of
your crippled mind.

You are _one ko0ky asshole_!

Say what you will, think what you want, go ahead
and lie through your tooth...

I'm outty.

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
SPACE... the Final Flowing Frontier!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-22 19:58:32 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Here i am, you turd. I don't run away, i just have
other things besides posting to UseNet that i also
like to do.
Like evading questions.
I owe you nothing, Mother. You're less than
the "void" of space. You have no field. So
you cannot flow.
Nearly a clever lame. You're learning!
Post by Painius
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
And until you can answer the crucial
questions IN ENGLISH and not in the "word salad"
you love so well, and without resorting to pixies
and fairies and magical, all powerful geometry to
explain gravity, then you don't have a web-footed
leg to stand on. And i shall continue to consider
Einstein's "space as field" theory to be a real and
valid answer to the question,
"What causes gravity?"
and i shall try to logically deduce what he meant
by a "relativistic field theory of space".
GR explanation was given to you. You're just too stupid to understand it - much
like you think there is no higher elements then He in SNR's
Again, the answer of a slapstick posier who knows
absolutely nothing about the subject at hand. All
you can do is resort to the warped imaginings of
your crippled mind.
A quick GG archive search will show you where I gave you the equations of
MOTION derivation for GR for a mass (using the Schwarzschild Metric), where I
have give you web pages for stellar structure as well as my own notes.

It will also show you where you have singularly failed to answer!

Instead you have decided to act like a politican. Refuse to answer the
question, and yet try and turn it around as if you're the hard done by one!

So keep on belieiving it kook, after all

Kookle Search Results
3 matches for "painius".
Paine Ellsworth, a.k.a. "Painius" of alt.astronomy

Clueless Newbie of the Month, January 2007
Victor von Frankenstein "Weird Science" Award, January 2007
Joseph Bartlo "Pathetic Anal Pineapple" Award, April 2006
Post by Painius
You are _one ko0ky asshole_!
Say what you will, think what you want, go ahead
and lie through your tooth...
I'm outty.
Run away when you can't answer the questions! I bet you don't even UNDERSTAND
the thermodynamics issue your theory raises for hollow spheres, do you?

Go on and run. Take you alien friends and looney tune pack with you.
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Painius
2007-02-22 21:19:54 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Here i am, you turd. I don't run away, i just have
other things besides posting to UseNet that i also
like to do.
Like evading questions.
I owe you nothing, Mother. You're less than
the "void" of space. You have no field. So
you cannot flow.
Nearly a clever lame. You're learning!
Post by Painius
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
And until you can answer the crucial
questions IN ENGLISH and not in the "word salad"
you love so well, and without resorting to pixies
and fairies and magical, all powerful geometry to
explain gravity, then you don't have a web-footed
leg to stand on. And i shall continue to consider
Einstein's "space as field" theory to be a real and
valid answer to the question,
"What causes gravity?"
and i shall try to logically deduce what he meant
by a "relativistic field theory of space".
GR explanation was given to you. You're just too stupid to understand
it -
much
like you think there is no higher elements then He in SNR's
Again, the answer of a slapstick posier who knows
absolutely nothing about the subject at hand. All
you can do is resort to the warped imaginings of
your crippled mind.
A quick GG archive search will show you where I gave you the equations of
MOTION derivation for GR for a mass (using the Schwarzschild Metric), where I
have give you web pages for stellar structure as well as my own notes.
It will also show you where you have singularly failed to answer!
All it will show is what a certified putz you are.
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
You are _one ko0ky asshole_!
Say what you will, think what you want, go ahead
and lie through your tooth...
I'm outty.
Run away when you can't answer the questions! I bet you don't even UNDERSTAND
the thermodynamics issue your theory raises for hollow spheres, do you?
Go on and run. Take you alien friends and looney tune pack with you.
As Uncle Arnold says...

"I'll be back."

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
SPACE... the Final Flowing Frontier!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-22 21:25:25 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
A quick GG archive search will show you where I gave you the equations of
MOTION derivation for GR for a mass (using the Schwarzschild Metric), where I
have give you web pages for stellar structure as well as my own notes.
It will also show you where you have singularly failed to answer!
All it will show is what a certified putz you are.
Evasion again noted.
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Art Deco
2007-02-24 02:19:37 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Right now, the Wolter/Sheppard "flowing space"
idea is shaping up very well, to my thinking!
Here is the root of your problem.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-24 02:33:39 UTC
Permalink
Post by Art Deco
Post by Painius
Right now, the Wolter/Sheppard "flowing space"
idea is shaping up very well, to my thinking!
Here is the root of your problem.
One imaginary physicist and an poster with an imaginary physics education. I
look forward to their paper being posed on all good lamposts and truck stop
walls.
--
Painius admits he cannot answer a single question to NB:
(How many days till he replies - best guess is five!)
"Yes, you're right of course, NB. And they get very useless very quickly.
I shall do my best to ignore them, as you wish."
o***@sbcglobal.net
2007-02-21 19:49:39 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
<... And since GR is all about what causes "gravity"...>
Aye yie YIE, Paine. ARRrrgh. Gotta holler at you on that one. GR is
all about _describing the effect_ we CALL "gravity". It scrupulously
evades any intimation of _explaining the literal, causal mechanism_.
At all cost, the Great Taboo must not be violated. And the G.T. is
simply to recognize gravity for what it *demonstrates itself* to be -
a pressure-driven, accelerating flow into mass with mass synonymous
with flow sink. There's nothing complicated or mysterious about the
_cause_ of gravity... or the "curvature of space" being a descriptive
metaphor of the acceleration rate of the inflow. Hrrumph
oc
Now please don't let my words upset, Bill. You're
right and you're wrong on this. GR is all about
describing the effects of gravity, yes, but nobody
can argue that GR was Einstein's great attempt to
apply as much of SR as he could to the challenge
of gravity. GR, in describing the effects of gravity,
was and is the best scientific attempt thus far at
describing the *cause* of gravity.
GR does not--i strongly repeat, _*does not*_
scrupulously evade any intimation of _explaining
the literal, causal mechanism_ of gravity. Einstein
was quite clear (well, to me, anyway) in Appendix
V that he believed the causal mechanism to be a
field that space is made of.
And in writing about this, Einstein himself took
the very first step to violate the Great Taboo of
his own making.
Wolter, you, Lindner and others, whether you
knew it or not, have been taking Einstein's last
theory, his "relativistic field theory of space", to
the next level. And yes, it does follow...
If space is some kind of field that causes
gravity, then it must do so by "flowing"
into matter.
I still wonder if Wolter had ever read or heard of
Appendix V? You keep saying that he came up
with flowing space as a sidebar to his CBB theory.
And history shows that such ideas can be had by
different people independently, so it's not unheard
of that Wolter could have had virtually the same
idea as Einstein had about space. And yet, i still
wonder? Didn't you say that you spoke with him
about all this *after* Einstein wrote App. V in the
summer of '52?
If so, then it's entirely possible that Wolter got
the idea for his sidebar of flowing space from the
great master himself!
For me, though, the important thing is not *who*
thought of it, no. The important thing is how
close the thought brings us to physical reality.
And to me, the idea of space being made of a
field that flows into matter and causes gravity is
more attractive than the biggest magnetic field
in the Universe!
happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
FREEDOM... "no limits" excepting the sky!
Indelibly yours,
Painehttp://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -
Paine,

The statement about GR's "scrupulously evading the cause of gravity"
was in the context of *mainstream* interpretation of GR, i.e., that
there is "no medium". If indeed there is 'no medium', then there can
be no causal mechanism of gravity; there are only *effects* of
curvature/distortion of "nothing".. which makes a lot of sense huh?

Take mainstreamers Painleve-Gullstrand f'rinstance, who present a very
comprehensive flowing-space model, but scrupulously couch it as a
'metric' so's not to imply anything is *lterally* flowing. And there's
mainstreamer H.G. Ellis, who (circa 1970) presented a literal FS
model, but in his later writings amended it back to a non-literal
context. This is what's meant by "scrupulously evading" the cause.

Then curiously, there's this guy, a "quasi-mainstreamer" who does
appear to break the Great Taboo and contend that the flow is literal
-- http://xxx.lanl.gov/ftp/gr-qc/papers/0006/0006029.pdf

No doubt you've heard these charges that it's being "anti-relativist"
to demand _explanations of literal cause_ of that whose *effects* GR
merely describes.

And there's this gaffe about "running away / cowardice".. when the
entire mainstream paradigm is institutionally RUNNING AWAY en masse
and cowering from the blatantly obvious -- the fact that the spatial
medium demonstrates its true nature by its abundance of effects,
particularly and most pointedly in the behavior of gravity. "Running
away" indeed. Hrrumph.

Heh. Quite predictably, db "weighs in" with his obligatory Pavlovian
grunt. (-:
oc
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-21 21:46:47 UTC
Permalink
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
Paine,
The statement about GR's "scrupulously evading the cause of gravity"
was in the context of *mainstream* interpretation of GR, i.e., that
there is "no medium". If indeed there is 'no medium', then there can
be no causal mechanism of gravity; there are only *effects* of
curvature/distortion of "nothing".. which makes a lot of sense huh?
Nonsense.
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
Take mainstreamers Painleve-Gullstrand f'rinstance, who present a very
comprehensive flowing-space model, but scrupulously couch it as a
'metric' so's not to imply anything is *lterally* flowing. And there's
mainstreamer H.G. Ellis, who (circa 1970) presented a literal FS
model, but in his later writings amended it back to a non-literal
context. This is what's meant by "scrupulously evading" the cause.
No - it doesn't mean what you think.
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
Then curiously, there's this guy, a "quasi-mainstreamer" who does
appear to break the Great Taboo and contend that the flow is literal
-- http://xxx.lanl.gov/ftp/gr-qc/papers/0006/0006029.pdf
No doubt you've heard these charges that it's being "anti-relativist"
to demand _explanations of literal cause_ of that whose *effects* GR
merely describes.
And there's this gaffe about "running away / cowardice".. when the
entire mainstream paradigm is institutionally RUNNING AWAY en masse
and cowering from the blatantly obvious -- the fact that the spatial
medium demonstrates its true nature by its abundance of effects,
particularly and most pointedly in the behavior of gravity. "Running
away" indeed. Hrrumph.
Post proof. I'm waiting for one of these abundance of effects. You run away
from the question.
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
Heh. Quite predictably, db "weighs in" with his obligatory Pavlovian
oc
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Painius
2007-02-21 22:45:20 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
. . .
And there's this gaffe about "running away / cowardice".. when the
entire mainstream paradigm is institutionally RUNNING AWAY en masse
and cowering from the blatantly obvious -- the fact that the spatial
medium demonstrates its true nature by its abundance of effects,
particularly and most pointedly in the behavior of gravity. "Running
away" indeed. Hrrumph.
Post proof. I'm waiting for one of these abundance of effects. You run away
from the question.
Bill and i have been posting and discussing this
abundance of effects for years, long before your
skinny ass showed up, and many times since.

I can't help it if you refuse to recognize this. It is
not we who run away from the questions. It is you
who are running away from the answers.

And the fact that you ask for "proof" is just one
more nail in your coffin, Mother. A true scientist
looks not for "proof", but for "evidence", you
dastardly posier. <g>

BTW, do you have any proof that Brad Guth is
not related to Alan Guth? Could Brad Guth
actually *be* Alan Guth?

Naaahhhh.t

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
FREEDOM... "no limits" excepting the sky!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-22 19:32:58 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Bill and i have been posting and discussing this
abundance of effects for years, long before your
skinny ass showed up, and many times since.
I can't help it if you refuse to recognize this. It is
not we who run away from the questions. It is you
who are running away from the answers.
I've asked many questions and recceived no answers. Post an equation, Kook!
Post by Painius
And the fact that you ask for "proof" is just one
more nail in your coffin, Mother. A true scientist
looks not for "proof", but for "evidence", you
dastardly posier. <g>
Yeah, you keep on believing that
Post by Painius
BTW, do you have any proof that Brad Guth is
not related to Alan Guth? Could Brad Guth
actually *be* Alan Guth?
Naaahhhh.t
And they say a bird never fouls its own nest.
Post by Painius
happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Art Deco
2007-02-24 15:17:13 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
. . .
And there's this gaffe about "running away / cowardice".. when the
entire mainstream paradigm is institutionally RUNNING AWAY en masse
and cowering from the blatantly obvious -- the fact that the spatial
medium demonstrates its true nature by its abundance of effects,
particularly and most pointedly in the behavior of gravity. "Running
away" indeed. Hrrumph.
Post proof. I'm waiting for one of these abundance of effects. You run away
from the question.
Bill and i have been posting and discussing this
abundance of effects for years, long before your
skinny ass showed up, and many times since.
I can't help it if you refuse to recognize this. It is
not we who run away from the questions. It is you
who are running away from the answers.
And the fact that you ask for "proof" is just one
more nail in your coffin, Mother. A true scientist
looks not for "proof", but for "evidence", you
dastardly posier. <g>
Ad hominem argument.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Painius
2007-02-21 21:54:51 UTC
Permalink
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
Post by Painius
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
<... And since GR is all about what causes "gravity"...>
Aye yie YIE, Paine. ARRrrgh. Gotta holler at you on that one. GR is
all about _describing the effect_ we CALL "gravity". It scrupulously
evades any intimation of _explaining the literal, causal mechanism_.
At all cost, the Great Taboo must not be violated. And the G.T. is
simply to recognize gravity for what it *demonstrates itself* to be -
a pressure-driven, accelerating flow into mass with mass synonymous
with flow sink. There's nothing complicated or mysterious about the
_cause_ of gravity... or the "curvature of space" being a descriptive
metaphor of the acceleration rate of the inflow. Hrrumph
oc
Now please don't let my words upset, Bill. You're
right and you're wrong on this. GR is all about
describing the effects of gravity, yes, but nobody
can argue that GR was Einstein's great attempt to
apply as much of SR as he could to the challenge
of gravity. GR, in describing the effects of gravity,
was and is the best scientific attempt thus far at
describing the *cause* of gravity.
GR does not--i strongly repeat, _*does not*_
scrupulously evade any intimation of _explaining
the literal, causal mechanism_ of gravity. Einstein
was quite clear (well, to me, anyway) in Appendix
V that he believed the causal mechanism to be a
field that space is made of.
And in writing about this, Einstein himself took
the very first step to violate the Great Taboo of
his own making.
Wolter, you, Lindner and others, whether you
knew it or not, have been taking Einstein's last
theory, his "relativistic field theory of space", to
the next level. And yes, it does follow...
If space is some kind of field that causes
gravity, then it must do so by "flowing"
into matter.
I still wonder if Wolter had ever read or heard of
Appendix V? You keep saying that he came up
with flowing space as a sidebar to his CBB theory.
And history shows that such ideas can be had by
different people independently, so it's not unheard
of that Wolter could have had virtually the same
idea as Einstein had about space. And yet, i still
wonder? Didn't you say that you spoke with him
about all this *after* Einstein wrote App. V in the
summer of '52?
If so, then it's entirely possible that Wolter got
the idea for his sidebar of flowing space from the
great master himself!
For me, though, the important thing is not *who*
thought of it, no. The important thing is how
close the thought brings us to physical reality.
And to me, the idea of space being made of a
field that flows into matter and causes gravity is
more attractive than the biggest magnetic field
in the Universe!
happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
FREEDOM... "no limits" excepting the sky!
Indelibly yours,
Painehttp://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -
Paine,
The statement about GR's "scrupulously evading the cause of gravity"
was in the context of *mainstream* interpretation of GR, i.e., that
there is "no medium". If indeed there is 'no medium', then there can
be no causal mechanism of gravity; there are only *effects* of
curvature/distortion of "nothing".. which makes a lot of sense huh?
Take mainstreamers Painleve-Gullstrand f'rinstance, who present a very
comprehensive flowing-space model, but scrupulously couch it as a
'metric' so's not to imply anything is *lterally* flowing. And there's
mainstreamer H.G. Ellis, who (circa 1970) presented a literal FS
model, but in his later writings amended it back to a non-literal
context. This is what's meant by "scrupulously evading" the cause.
Then curiously, there's this guy, a "quasi-mainstreamer" who does
appear to break the Great Taboo and contend that the flow is literal
-- http://xxx.lanl.gov/ftp/gr-qc/papers/0006/0006029.pdf
No doubt you've heard these charges that it's being "anti-relativist"
to demand _explanations of literal cause_ of that whose *effects* GR
merely describes.
And there's this gaffe about "running away / cowardice".. when the
entire mainstream paradigm is institutionally RUNNING AWAY en masse
and cowering from the blatantly obvious -- the fact that the spatial
medium demonstrates its true nature by its abundance of effects,
particularly and most pointedly in the behavior of gravity. "Running
away" indeed. Hrrumph.
Heh. Quite predictably, db "weighs in" with his obligatory Pavlovian
oc
Yes, i get all that... and i find it extremely, well,
fascinating that very little info can be found on
the web about what Einstein wrote in App. V. It's
as if physics has decided to shun him for trying
to break his own GT, and they've been doing so
for over 50 years now.

Physics has been running away from Einstein's
last great theory, his...

R e l a t i v i s t i c F i e l d T h e o r y
o f S p a c e

as set forth in...

_RELATIVITY - The Special and the General Theory_
Appendix V - "Relativity and the Problem of Space"

Shame on them. (unless, of course, the cover-up is
believed to be in the best interests of mankind; if so,
then those field equations must really be HOT!!!)

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
FREEDOM... "no limits" excepting the sky!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-21 22:00:54 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Yes, i get all that... and i find it extremely, well,
fascinating that very little info can be found on
the web about what Einstein wrote in App. V. It's
as if physics has decided to shun him for trying
to break his own GT, and they've been doing so
for over 50 years now.
Physics has been running away from Einstein's
last great theory, his...
R e l a t i v i s t i c F i e l d T h e o r y
o f S p a c e
as set forth in...
_RELATIVITY - The Special and the General Theory_
Appendix V - "Relativity and the Problem of Space"
Shame on them. (unless, of course, the cover-up is
believed to be in the best interests of mankind; if so,
then those field equations must really be HOT!!!)
So please post the proof these have ANYTHING to do with your nonsense. Or do
you yet again seek to put words in the mouths of dead men?

PS Tell you what, lets save time. I'll write

"Phineas you ignorant slut"

for you, perhaps you can come up with a new lame!!!

Luv

PTP
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Painius
2007-02-21 22:55:25 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Yes, i get all that... and i find it extremely, well,
fascinating that very little info can be found on
the web about what Einstein wrote in App. V. It's
as if physics has decided to shun him for trying
to break his own GT, and they've been doing so
for over 50 years now.
Physics has been running away from Einstein's
last great theory, his...
R e l a t i v i s t i c F i e l d T h e o r y
o f S p a c e
as set forth in...
_RELATIVITY - The Special and the General Theory_
Appendix V - "Relativity and the Problem of Space"
Shame on them. (unless, of course, the cover-up is
believed to be in the best interests of mankind; if so,
then those field equations must really be HOT!!!)
So please post the proof these have ANYTHING to do with your nonsense. Or do
you yet again seek to put words in the mouths of dead men?
PS Tell you what, lets save time. I'll write
"Phineas you ignorant slut"
for you, perhaps you can come up with a new lame!!!
Luv
PTP
Phineas you ignorant slut...

(glad you like it)

Perhaps *you* might wanna come up with some
fresh new fibs?

And once again, Mother P. Goose, no scientist
worth his salt ever seeks "proof" of anything.
Science is the search for "evidence". Guess you
missed that class, huh?

("P" is for "Posier")

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
FREEDOM... "no limits" excepting the sky!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-22 19:34:12 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Perhaps *you* might wanna come up with some
fresh new fibs?
I've posted good science and stand by it. You're the one espousing nonsense.
Answered my singularities issue yet?
Post by Painius
And once again, Mother P. Goose, no scientist
worth his salt ever seeks "proof" of anything.
Science is the search for "evidence". Guess you
missed that class, huh?
BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Groups snecked cause Painius is a coward.
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Painius
2007-02-22 21:27:15 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Perhaps *you* might wanna come up with some
fresh new fibs?
I've posted good science and stand by it. You're the one espousing nonsense.
Answered my singularities issue yet?
I hate singularities. They make about as much sense
as you do. As for your laughable "good science", yes
you c&p very well. Next try something original...

like thinking.
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
And once again, Mother P. Goose, no scientist
worth his salt ever seeks "proof" of anything.
Science is the search for "evidence". Guess you
missed that class, huh?
BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Kook-laugh alert !!!

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
SPACE... the Final Flowing Frontier!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-22 21:35:46 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Perhaps *you* might wanna come up with some
fresh new fibs?
I've posted good science and stand by it. You're the one espousing nonsense.
Answered my singularities issue yet?
I hate singularities. They make about as much sense
as you do. As for your laughable "good science", yes
you c&p very well. Next try something original...
I already have. The problem is of course is that you lack the understanding.
You still somehow think elements > He aren't produced in stellar endtimes,
don't understand degeneracy pressure or even basic stellar physics - as so ABLY
highlighted by your refusal to answer any of the points.

You're aiming for another award.
Post by Painius
like thinking.
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
And once again, Mother P. Goose, no scientist
worth his salt ever seeks "proof" of anything.
Science is the search for "evidence". Guess you
missed that class, huh?
BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Kook-laugh alert !!!
Yet you're the one with the kook awards? Strange that... And the insistence to
add silly groups to the post list.
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
nightbat
2007-02-23 13:07:59 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Perhaps *you* might wanna come up with some
fresh new fibs?
I've posted good science and stand by it. You're the one espousing nonsense.
Answered my singularities issue yet?
I hate singularities. They make about as much sense
as you do. As for your laughable "good science", yes
you c&p very well. Next try something original...
I already have. The problem is of course is that you lack the understanding.
You still somehow think elements > He aren't produced in stellar endtimes,
don't understand degeneracy pressure or even basic stellar physics - as so ABLY
highlighted by your refusal to answer any of the points.
You're aiming for another award Ducky.
Post by Painius
like thinking.
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
And once again, Mother P. Goose, no scientist
worth his salt ever seeks "proof" of anything.
Science is the search for "evidence". Guess you
missed that class, huh?
Daffy Ducky
BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Kook-laugh alert !!!
Daffy Duck
Yet you're the one with the kook awards? Strange that... And the insistence to
add silly groups to the post list.
Yet you're the one who's a fake auk award proclaimer toon duck. Your
wife know of your secret fetish of dressing up as a gay duck and chasing
Deco.

To err is human, to award cover it up pure coffeeboy -- nightbat
OREO Jackson
2007-02-23 15:57:29 UTC
Permalink
Post by nightbat
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Perhaps *you* might wanna come up with some
fresh new fibs?
I've posted good science and stand by it. You're the one espousing nonsense.
Answered my singularities issue yet?
I hate singularities. They make about as much sense
as you do. As for your laughable "good science", yes
you c&p very well. Next try something original...
I already have. The problem is of course is that you lack the understanding.
You still somehow think elements > He aren't produced in stellar endtimes,
don't understand degeneracy pressure or even basic stellar physics - as so ABLY
highlighted by your refusal to answer any of the points.
You're aiming for another award Ducky.
Post by Painius
like thinking.
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
And once again, Mother P. Goose, no scientist
worth his salt ever seeks "proof" of anything.
Science is the search for "evidence". Guess you
missed that class, huh?
Daffy Ducky
BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Kook-laugh alert !!!
Daffy Duck
Yet you're the one with the kook awards? Strange that... And the insistence to
add silly groups to the post list.
Yet you're the one who's a fake auk award proclaimer toon duck.
What are you deriding fakeness for, uber fake science officer of fake
labs mumbling about fake aliens and fake starship Darlas?
Post by nightbat
Your
wife know of your secret fetish of dressing up as a gay duck and chasing
Deco.
Do you wish you had a wife that helped you back into reality and away
from your fake saucerhead fantasies?

Jade
nightbat
2007-02-23 18:05:29 UTC
Permalink
Post by OREO Jackson
Post by nightbat
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Perhaps *you* might wanna come up with some
fresh new fibs?
I've posted good science and stand by it. You're the one espousing nonsense.
Answered my singularities issue yet?
I hate singularities. They make about as much sense
as you do. As for your laughable "good science", yes
you c&p very well. Next try something original...
I already have. The problem is of course is that you lack the understanding.
You still somehow think elements > He aren't produced in stellar endtimes,
don't understand degeneracy pressure or even basic stellar physics - as so ABLY
highlighted by your refusal to answer any of the points.
You're aiming for another award Ducky.
Post by Painius
like thinking.
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
And once again, Mother P. Goose, no scientist
worth his salt ever seeks "proof" of anything.
Science is the search for "evidence". Guess you
missed that class, huh?
Daffy Ducky
BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Kook-laugh alert !!!
Daffy Duck
Yet you're the one with the kook awards? Strange that... And the insistence to
add silly groups to the post list.
Yet you're the one who's a fake auk award proclaimer toon duck.
Jade
What are you deriding fakeness for, uber fake science officer of fake
labs mumbling about fake aliens and fake starship Darlas?
nightbat

That's where you're confused Jade for alt. astronomy is home to
real profound Earth Science Team Officers, and referenced real Indy Base
One lab, of real net contact with Sean extraterrestrials not aliens, and
real Starship Darla. sheesh! Being able to handle science reality is an
adult thing. While net acting like a silly coffeeboy is childish and
pure fantasy. Know your Star Science Officer they're here to help you.
Post by OREO Jackson
Post by nightbat
Your
wife know of your secret fetish of dressing up as a gay duck and chasing
Deco.
Jade
Do you wish you had a wife that helped you back into reality and away
from your fake saucerhead fantasies?
Jade
nightbat

I miss my beautiful deceased loving wife, yes it's true Jade,
but now I have loads of billions of World wide net female fans to thank
for their never ending interest. Team Science Officers are like that,
besides our real natural science brilliant deep mojoe we have the secret
alluring Team distinctive registered and original Glow Shirts and Caps
that women just can't resist, oh mercy! And the net Sean fans are also
real too for never underestimate the enormity and full potential of the
immense Universe. Profound historical "Men of Science" aren't fantasy,
they're just bigger then life.

keep pondering,
the nightbat

Coffeeboys - denying reality since day one -- nightbat
"Doctor, what do we do with these clueless auk orphans?"
"Put them with the rest of the born losers"
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-23 18:12:28 UTC
Permalink
Post by OREO Jackson
Jade
What are you deriding fakeness for, uber fake science officer of fake
labs mumbling about fake aliens and fake starship Darlas?
nightbat
That's where you're confused Jade for alt. astronomy is home to
real profound Earth Science Team Officers, and referenced real Indy Base
One lab, of real net contact with Sean extraterrestrials not aliens, and
real Starship Darla. sheesh! Being able to handle science reality is an
adult thing. While net acting like a silly coffeeboy is childish and
pure fantasy. Know your Star Science Officer they're here to help you.
1) You're not Profound
2) You don't understand science
3) There are no Sil, Seans or Darla
4) You deserve medication
Post by OREO Jackson
Post by nightbat
Your
wife know of your secret fetish of dressing up as a gay duck and chasing
Deco.
Jade
Do you wish you had a wife that helped you back into reality and away
from your fake saucerhead fantasies?
Jade
nightbat
I miss my beautiful deceased loving wife, yes it's true Jade,
but now I have loads of billions of World wide net female fans to thank
for their never ending interest. Team Science Officers are like that,
besides our real natural science brilliant deep mojoe we have the secret
alluring Team distinctive registered and original Glow Shirts and Caps
that women just can't resist, oh mercy! And the net Sean fans are also
real too for never underestimate the enormity and full potential of the
immense Universe. Profound historical "Men of Science" aren't fantasy,
they're just bigger then life.
So you admit you're delusional. You've made up this entire fantasy world as
you're unable to cope with reality.
--
Painius admits he cannot answer a single question to NB:
(How many days till he replies - best guess is five!)
"Yes, you're right of course, NB. And they get very useless very quickly.
I shall do my best to ignore them, as you wish."
nightbat
2007-02-23 21:05:21 UTC
Permalink
Post by OREO Jackson
Jade
What are you deriding fakeness for, uber fake science officer of fake
labs mumbling about fake aliens and fake starship Darlas?
nightbat
That's where you're confused Jade for alt. astronomy is home to
real profound Earth Science Team Officers, and referenced real Indy Base
One lab, of real net contact with Sean extraterrestrials not aliens, and
real Starship Darla. sheesh! Being able to handle science reality is an
adult thing. While net acting like a silly coffeeboy is childish and
pure fantasy. Know your Star Science Officer they're here to help you.
Daffy Ducky
1) You're so Profound
2) You fully understand science
3) There are Sil, Seans or Darla
4) You deserve multiple science Nobel Awards
Post by OREO Jackson
Post by nightbat
Your
wife know of your secret fetish of dressing up as a gay duck and chasing
Deco.
Jade
Do you wish you had a wife that helped you back into reality and away
from your fake saucerhead fantasies?
Jade
nightbat
I miss my beautiful deceased loving wife, yes it's true Jade,
but now I have loads of billions of World wide net female fans to thank
for their never ending interest. Team Science Officers are like that,
besides our real natural science brilliant deep mojoe we have the secret
alluring Team distinctive registered and original Glow Shirts and Caps
that women just can't resist, oh mercy! And the net Sean fans are also
real too for never underestimate the enormity and full potential of the
immense Universe. Profound historical "Men of Science" aren't fantasy,
they're just bigger then life.
Daffy Ducky
So I admit I'm delusional. I make up and enjoy this entire auk fake award fantasy world as
I'm unable to cope with reality. Team Science Officer posts are so way beyond me.
Coffeeboys - denying reality since day one -- nightbat
"Doctor, what do we do with these clueless auk orphans?"
"Put them with the rest of the born losers"
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-23 21:12:45 UTC
Permalink
So I admit I'm delusional. I make up and enjoy this entire auk fake award
fantasy world as
I'm unable to cope with reality. Team Science Officer posts are so way beyond me.
I love how you use p0st-edits to broadcast to the world your uselessness. Go
p0stedit-boy - edit this post!!!!
--
Painius admits he cannot answer a single question to NB:
(How many days till he replies - best guess is five!)
"Yes, you're right of course, NB. And they get very useless very quickly.
I shall do my best to ignore them, as you wish."
nightbat
2007-02-23 21:45:33 UTC
Permalink
So I admit I'm delusional. I make up and enjoy this entire auk fake award
fantasy world as
I'm unable to cope with reality. Team Science Officer posts are so way beyond me.
Daffy Ducky
I love how I use silly p0st-edits and fake awards to broadcast to the world my uselessness. Go
Captain-please science post!!!! Don't mind me, I'm just so in love with auk Deco.
Coffeeboys - denying reality since day one -- nightbat
"Doctor, what do we do with these clueless auk orphans?"
"Put them with the rest of the born losers"
Art Deco
2007-02-24 15:23:26 UTC
Permalink
Post by OREO Jackson
Jade
What are you deriding fakeness for, uber fake science officer of fake
labs mumbling about fake aliens and fake starship Darlas?
nightbat
That's where you're confused Jade for alt. astronomy is home to
real profound Earth Science Team Officers, and referenced real Indy Base
One lab, of real net contact with Sean extraterrestrials not aliens, and
real Starship Darla. sheesh! Being able to handle science reality is an
adult thing. While net acting like a silly coffeeboy is childish and
pure fantasy. Know your Star Science Officer they're here to help you.
Daffy Ducky
1) You're so Profound
2) You fully understand science
3) There are Sil, Seans or Darla
4) You deserve multiple science Nobel Awards
Post by OREO Jackson
Post by nightbat
Your
wife know of your secret fetish of dressing up as a gay duck and chasing
Deco.
Jade
Do you wish you had a wife that helped you back into reality and away
from your fake saucerhead fantasies?
Jade
nightbat
I miss my beautiful deceased loving wife, yes it's true Jade,
but now I have loads of billions of World wide net female fans to thank
for their never ending interest. Team Science Officers are like that,
besides our real natural science brilliant deep mojoe we have the secret
alluring Team distinctive registered and original Glow Shirts and Caps
that women just can't resist, oh mercy! And the net Sean fans are also
real too for never underestimate the enormity and full potential of the
immense Universe. Profound historical "Men of Science" aren't fantasy,
they're just bigger then life.
Daffy Ducky
So I admit I'm delusional. I make up and enjoy this entire auk fake award
fantasy world as
I'm unable to cope with reality. Team Science Officer posts are so way beyond me.
Coffeeboys - denying reality since day one -- nightbat
"Doctor, what do we do with these clueless auk orphans?"
"Put them with the rest of the born losers"
Coward.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Painius
2007-02-24 06:30:35 UTC
Permalink
. . . I miss my beautiful deceased loving wife, yes it's true Jade, but
now I have loads of billions of World wide net female fans to thank for
their never ending interest.
It's the uniform... it's always the uniform...

They just *love* that uniform! <g>

happy days and...
starry starry nights!
--
SPACE... the Final Flowing Frontier!

Indelibly yours,
Paine http://www.savethechildren.org/
http://www.painellsworth.net
nightbat
2007-02-24 13:14:34 UTC
Permalink
. . . I miss my beautiful deceased loving wife, yes it's true Jade, but
now I have loads of billions of World wide net female fans to thank for
their never ending interest.
Officer Painius
It's the uniform... it's always the uniform...
They just *love* that uniform! <g>
happy days and...
starry starry nights!
nightbat

Yes Major that so sharp looking Science Team Space Flow Theory
Commemorative uniform that the auk coffeeboys are so jealous about. The
high Glow Tech rich 100% cotton fabrics, stretch Officer body pants, and
uniform space Glow Shirt patches that women just can't seem to resist.
They all melt when they see a profound Science Team Member suited up
with Earth Sean Federation Star Glow insignia and that special Officer
status of soon to be issued unlimited platinum credit card doesn't hurt
either. I placed the distinguished Officer Star Team Uniform on the net
a while back just for general viewing but had to take it off because of
so many hits and cause it swamped the free server, sheesh!

Only my elite Staff Command Officers are entitled to wear the one of a
kind nightbat duty issued Uniform Classic Officer Star Glow Shirts and
Caps. That doesn't stop every Team fan from trying to get one of course
for they must know how powerfully female alluring they are.

carry on,
the nightbat
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-24 14:59:19 UTC
Permalink
nightbat
Yes Major that so sharp looking Science Team Space Flow Theory
Commemorative uniform that the auk coffeeboys are so jealous about. The
high Glow Tech rich 100% cotton fabrics, stretch Officer body pants, and
uniform space Glow Shirt patches that women just can't seem to resist.
BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

NB, if you knew any REAL women, you wouldn't be wasting your time telling
people you had an alien girlfriend. I bet you don't tell the other people in
your OAP complex that you have a manatee girlfriend
They all melt when they see a profound Science Team Member suited up
with Earth Sean Federation Star Glow insignia and that special Officer
status of soon to be issued unlimited platinum credit card doesn't hurt
either. I placed the distinguished Officer Star Team Uniform on the net
a while back just for general viewing but had to take it off because of
so many hits and cause it swamped the free server, sheesh!
BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAH
Only my elite Staff Command Officers are entitled to wear the one of a
kind nightbat duty issued Uniform Classic Officer Star Glow Shirts and
Caps. That doesn't stop every Team fan from trying to get one of course
for they must know how powerfully female alluring they are.
No. We have REAL women.
--
Painius admits he cannot answer a single question to NB:
(How many days till he replies - best guess is five!)
"Yes, you're right of course, NB. And they get very useless very quickly.
I shall do my best to ignore them, as you wish."
Art Deco
2007-02-24 17:09:29 UTC
Permalink
. . . I miss my beautiful deceased loving wife, yes it's true Jade, but
now I have loads of billions of World wide net female fans to thank for
their never ending interest.
Officer Painius
It's the uniform... it's always the uniform...
They just *love* that uniform! <g>
happy days and...
starry starry nights!
nightbat
Yes Major that so sharp looking Science Team Space Flow Theory
Commemorative uniform that the auk coffeeboys are so jealous about. The
high Glow Tech rich 100% cotton fabrics, stretch Officer body pants, and
uniform space Glow Shirt patches that women just can't seem to resist.
They all melt when they see a profound Science Team Member suited up
with Earth Sean Federation Star Glow insignia and that special Officer
status of soon to be issued unlimited platinum credit card doesn't hurt
either. I placed the distinguished Officer Star Team Uniform on the net
a while back just for general viewing but had to take it off because of
so many hits and cause it swamped the free server, sheesh!
Only my elite Staff Command Officers are entitled to wear the one of a
kind nightbat duty issued Uniform Classic Officer Star Glow Shirts and
Caps. That doesn't stop every Team fan from trying to get one of course
for they must know how powerfully female alluring they are.
carry on,
the nightbat
Kook and coward.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Art Deco
2007-02-24 17:08:50 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
. . . I miss my beautiful deceased loving wife, yes it's true Jade, but
now I have loads of billions of World wide net female fans to thank for
their never ending interest.
It's the uniform... it's always the uniform...
They just *love* that uniform! <g>
happy days and...
starry starry nights!
Do you wear the "I'M A DORK" baseball with it?
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Art Deco
2007-02-24 15:22:31 UTC
Permalink
Post by nightbat
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Perhaps *you* might wanna come up with some
fresh new fibs?
I've posted good science and stand by it. You're the one espousing nonsense.
Answered my singularities issue yet?
I hate singularities. They make about as much sense
as you do. As for your laughable "good science", yes
you c&p very well. Next try something original...
I already have. The problem is of course is that you lack the understanding.
You still somehow think elements > He aren't produced in stellar endtimes,
don't understand degeneracy pressure or even basic stellar physics - as so ABLY
highlighted by your refusal to answer any of the points.
You're aiming for another award Ducky.
Post by Painius
like thinking.
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
And once again, Mother P. Goose, no scientist
worth his salt ever seeks "proof" of anything.
Science is the search for "evidence". Guess you
missed that class, huh?
Daffy Ducky
BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Kook-laugh alert !!!
Daffy Duck
Yet you're the one with the kook awards? Strange that... And the insistence to
add silly groups to the post list.
Yet you're the one who's a fake auk award proclaimer toon duck. Your
wife know of your secret fetish of dressing up as a gay duck and chasing
Deco.
To err is human, to award cover it up pure coffeeboy -- nightbat
And then the good doctor of post editing weighs with more gay lames.
How profound.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Art Deco
2007-02-24 15:19:44 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Painius
Perhaps *you* might wanna come up with some
fresh new fibs?
I've posted good science and stand by it. You're the one espousing nonsense.
Answered my singularities issue yet?
Post by Painius
And once again, Mother P. Goose, no scientist
worth his salt ever seeks "proof" of anything.
Science is the search for "evidence". Guess you
missed that class, huh?
BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Groups snecked cause Painius is a coward.
He's a fanboi, he can't help himself.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Art Deco
2007-02-24 15:15:11 UTC
Permalink
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
And there's this gaffe about "running away / cowardice".. when the
entire mainstream paradigm is institutionally RUNNING AWAY en masse
and cowering from the blatantly obvious -- the fact that the spatial
medium demonstrates its true nature by its abundance of effects,
particularly and most pointedly in the behavior of gravity. "Running
away" indeed. Hrrumph.
How does the space fluid get back to where it started from?
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-21 19:25:42 UTC
Permalink
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
<... And since GR is all about what causes "gravity"...>
Aye yie YIE, Paine. ARRrrgh. Gotta holler at you on that one. GR is
all about _describing the effect_ we CALL "gravity". It scrupulously
evades any intimation of _explaining the literal, causal mechanism_.
At all cost, the Great Taboo must not be violated. And the G.T. is
simply to recognize gravity for what it *demonstrates itself* to be -
a pressure-driven, accelerating flow into mass with mass synonymous
with flow sink. There's nothing complicated or mysterious about the
_cause_ of gravity... or the "curvature of space" being a descriptive
metaphor of the acceleration rate of the inflow. Hrrumph
Yet you are unable to post a single equation or derivation, not even from this
imaginary Wolter. Neither of you can answer the singularity issue without
resorting to nonsense.
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Art Deco
2007-02-24 02:13:27 UTC
Permalink
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
<... And since GR is all about what causes "gravity"...>
Aye yie YIE, Paine. ARRrrgh. Gotta holler at you on that one. GR is
all about _describing the effect_ we CALL "gravity". It scrupulously
evades any intimation of _explaining the literal, causal mechanism_.
At all cost, the Great Taboo must not be violated. And the G.T. is
simply to recognize gravity for what it *demonstrates itself* to be -
a pressure-driven, accelerating flow into mass with mass synonymous
with flow sink. There's nothing complicated or mysterious about the
_cause_ of gravity... or the "curvature of space" being a descriptive
metaphor of the acceleration rate of the inflow. Hrrumph
oc
What happens to the fluid when it flows into a star? How does it get
back to where it started from?
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-24 02:31:34 UTC
Permalink
Post by Art Deco
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
At all cost, the Great Taboo must not be violated. And the G.T. is
simply to recognize gravity for what it *demonstrates itself* to be -
a pressure-driven, accelerating flow into mass with mass synonymous
with flow sink. There's nothing complicated or mysterious about the
_cause_ of gravity... or the "curvature of space" being a descriptive
metaphor of the acceleration rate of the inflow. Hrrumph
oc
What happens to the fluid when it flows into a star? How does it get
back to where it started from?
The Seans silly! They're space truckers. I can imagine Darla's last communique
being "Can't stop guv, I got a shed load of fluid space in the van I gotta ship
back to the BB!"
--
Painius admits he cannot answer a single question to NB:
(How many days till he replies - best guess is five!)
"Yes, you're right of course, NB. And they get very useless very quickly.
I shall do my best to ignore them, as you wish."
Art Deco
2007-02-24 17:06:28 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Art Deco
Post by o***@sbcglobal.net
At all cost, the Great Taboo must not be violated. And the G.T. is
simply to recognize gravity for what it *demonstrates itself* to be -
a pressure-driven, accelerating flow into mass with mass synonymous
with flow sink. There's nothing complicated or mysterious about the
_cause_ of gravity... or the "curvature of space" being a descriptive
metaphor of the acceleration rate of the inflow. Hrrumph
oc
What happens to the fluid when it flows into a star? How does it get
back to where it started from?
The Seans silly! They're space truckers. I can imagine Darla's last communique
being "Can't stop guv, I got a shed load of fluid space in the van I gotta ship
back to the BB!"
Of course! Silly me.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-21 19:22:52 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
You seem to want to know what "space as field"
would lead to in physical reality. As Einstein
proposed when he indicated that space is a field
under his "relativistic field theory of space", this
field theory is an integral part of his theory of
general relativity.
Field != flow

Plus you are aware ANY degree of shielding of this fluid by matter would be
apparently obvious when you heated a hollow sphere of matter and compared the
spectrum obtained to a blackbody?
Post by Painius
And since GR is all about what causes "gravity",
Einstein was theorizing this "space as field" as a
cause of gravity.
So one prediction of his last theory of "space as
field" would be that your skinny ass won't go
floating off into space...
...unfortunately for the rest of us <g>
Keep up the lames Painsnuh. Poor as they are, they're miles above your science.
--
<-Coffee Boy-> = Preferably white, with two sugars
Saucerheads - denying the blatantly obvious since 2000.
Art Deco
2007-02-24 02:05:07 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Post by Art Deco
pffft...
(n/a groups pooped, and fan groups added)
[snecked and archived]
Your lits is long, lean and ludicrous.
Any every word was issued from teh keyboard of teh painsnuh.
Post by Painius
Post by Art Deco
Mother Goose, you probably think that's the
end of it, but it's not.
More psychic astrology.
Nope, just more goosely predictability.
Post by Art Deco
Most of the following
does not apply to me. I did want to mention
a few d^htings, however...
Drinking again?
Does coffee count?
<rambles off to collate and archive about 1,800 new painsnuh lames>
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-24 02:23:20 UTC
Permalink
Post by Art Deco
Post by Painius
Post by Art Deco
Most of the following
does not apply to me. I did want to mention
a few d^htings, however...
Drinking again?
Does coffee count?
<rambles off to collate and archive about 1,800 new painsnuh lames>
And every one as pitiful as the last. I wonder if he's learnt any
thermodynamics or stellar physics yet....


What am I saying? He's Profound! Normal rules of science dont apply.
--
Painius admits he cannot answer a single question to NB:
(How many days till he replies - best guess is five!)
"Yes, you're right of course, NB. And they get very useless very quickly.
I shall do my best to ignore them, as you wish."
nightbat
2007-02-24 02:58:50 UTC
Permalink
Most of the following
does not apply to me. I did want to mention
a few d^htings, however...
Bart Devo
Drinking again?
Officer Painius
Does coffee count? Fill that coffee cup auk bellboy, snap to it!
Bart Devo
<rambles off to collate and archive about 1,800 new Officer Painius knowledge pages
Daffy Ducky
And every one as profound as the last. I wonder if we've learnt any
thermodynamics or stellar physics yet....nah, we coffeeboys just love each other.
What am I saying? He's a Profound Officer! Normal rules of science are beyond and dont apply to us.
Only bellboy rules are applicable to us, need any more coffee Officer Painius, Sir?
Supreme Clueless Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to award cover it up is pure coffeeboy" -- nightbat
Art Deco
2007-02-24 16:59:06 UTC
Permalink
Post by nightbat
Most of the following
does not apply to me. I did want to mention
a few d^htings, however...
Bart Devo
Drinking again?
Officer Painius
Does coffee count? Fill that coffee cup auk bellboy, snap to it!
Bart Devo
<rambles off to collate and archive about 1,800 new Officer Painius knowledge pages
Daffy Ducky
And every one as profound as the last. I wonder if we've learnt any
thermodynamics or stellar physics yet....nah, we coffeeboys just love each other.
What am I saying? He's a Profound Officer! Normal rules of science are
beyond and dont apply to us.
Only bellboy rules are applicable to us, need any more coffee Officer Painius, Sir?
Supreme Clueless Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco
"To err is human, to award cover it up is pure coffeeboy" -- nightbat
Liar.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Art Deco
2007-02-24 02:12:39 UTC
Permalink
Post by Painius
Let's talk "flowing space",
"Flowing space" is all talk, sans science.
Post by Painius
Massuh Goose!
Another painsnuh moment.

One of the questions all the saucerheads don't want to be reminded of,
much less try to answer:

What happens to this space fluid when it hits a star? How does it get
back to where it started from?

Obviously the grate physicist "Wolter" never had an answer for this
one, else the saucerheads would be pasting it to usenet again and
again. Also, this question doesn't lend itself to the "it has to be
right" standard answer.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Phineas T Puddleduck
2007-02-24 02:29:44 UTC
Permalink
Post by Art Deco
Another painsnuh moment.
One of the questions all the saucerheads don't want to be reminded of,
What happens to this space fluid when it hits a star? How does it get
back to where it started from?
Obviously the grate physicist "Wolter" never had an answer for this
one, else the saucerheads would be pasting it to usenet again and
again. Also, this question doesn't lend itself to the "it has to be
right" standard answer.
And of course, one that came to me when driving back from one of my PhD
interviews (for my applications).

For ANY shielding of this fluid of matter, take a spherical shell of matter and
heat it. The inside, being shielded (even slightly) from fluid space, will have
a different value of c. The result being that the energy spectrum inside the
sphere will not be blackbody. And for any real shielding, the energy density is
going to go MENTAL remarkably quickly. The deviation for even a slight degree
of shielding is significant enough to be detected.

And of course they're in a quandary. Any shielding of this fluid flow by matter
will result in gravity being shielded - unphysical result. No shielding at all
says this matter has NO interaction with mass.

($10 fnlf Ovyy jvyy puvzr va uvf hfhny pbyyrpgvba bs OF DZ grezf ur ernq sebz n
obbx fbzrjurer - naq rkgen $5 vs ur zragvbaf uvf fho-Cynapxvna abafrafr!)

Also note Painius has no answer for my flux point for two masses close to each
other, which in their bizarro world would show no gravity for a third test mass
on any point for a line joining the two masses. He posted some website
containing text from 1970(!) which he claimed answered the question but in fact
dodged the issue spectactularly.

I can probably come up with at least another four singularities. Plus the lack
of an inverse square law relationship their theory entails.

That doesn't even start to include Painius's frankly pathetic knowledge of post
main sequence stellar evolution...
--
Painius admits he cannot answer a single question to NB:
(How many days till he replies - best guess is five!)
"Yes, you're right of course, NB. And they get very useless very quickly.
I shall do my best to ignore them, as you wish."
Art Deco
2007-02-24 17:05:49 UTC
Permalink
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
Post by Art Deco
Another painsnuh moment.
One of the questions all the saucerheads don't want to be reminded of,
What happens to this space fluid when it hits a star? How does it get
back to where it started from?
Obviously the grate physicist "Wolter" never had an answer for this
one, else the saucerheads would be pasting it to usenet again and
again. Also, this question doesn't lend itself to the "it has to be
right" standard answer.
And of course, one that came to me when driving back from one of my PhD
interviews (for my applications).
For ANY shielding of this fluid of matter, take a spherical shell of matter and
heat it. The inside, being shielded (even slightly) from fluid space, will have
a different value of c. The result being that the energy spectrum inside the
sphere will not be blackbody. And for any real shielding, the energy density is
going to go MENTAL remarkably quickly. The deviation for even a slight degree
of shielding is significant enough to be detected.
Of course, since spectroscopy doesn't lend itself to word salad
discussions, any such arguments can be safely discounted.
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
And of course they're in a quandary. Any shielding of this fluid flow by matter
will result in gravity being shielded - unphysical result. No shielding at all
says this matter has NO interaction with mass.
($10 fnlf Ovyy jvyy puvzr va uvf hfhny pbyyrpgvba bs OF DZ grezf ur ernq sebz n
obbx fbzrjurer - naq rkgen $5 vs ur zragvbaf uvf fho-Cynapxvna abafrafr!)
Also note Painius has no answer for my flux point for two masses close to each
other, which in their bizarro world would show no gravity for a third test mass
on any point for a line joining the two masses. He posted some website
containing text from 1970(!) which he claimed answered the question but in fact
dodged the issue spectactularly.
Again showing they don't understand what they try to read.
Post by Phineas T Puddleduck
I can probably come up with at least another four singularities. Plus the lack
of an inverse square law relationship their theory entails.
That doesn't even start to include Painius's frankly pathetic knowledge of post
main sequence stellar evolution...
Perhaps next they'll next tackle the thorny question of why an electron
has a charge of -1e, and why they are attracted to positive charges.
That should prove amusing.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Art Deco
2007-02-10 23:59:39 UTC
Permalink
On Feb 9, 2:00 am, Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler
<music>"20th Century Fox http://youtu.be/ra_9kgqn7DQ
</music>
The time has come to announce the winners of the January 2007 Usenet Kook
Awards. Envelopes, please!
<music>drumroll</music>
[...]
MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
The winner is...THE SAUCERHEADS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
16 votes The Saucerheads of alt.astronomy
11 votes The anti-porn-star crusaders of alt.gossip.celebrities
Congratulations, Profound Earth Science Officers! Whilst you all wait for
the Seans to arrive so you can shag the hottest mermaids in space, keep
yourselves good and hard in preparation for their arrival.
This concludes the announcement of the winners of the January 2007 Usenet
Kook Awards. Forty-four people submitted fourty-one ballots. Five of them
managed to violate the rules in interesting ways: two people voted from an
altered ballot, one person voted for himself/herself, another voted for
himself/herself using an altered ballot (there's always a first for
everything) and one voted in the wrong thread. Fluffy was pleased with the
shredded paper in his litter box. Consequently, thirty-nine ballots were
deemed valid and counted.
See you all early next month, when the buzzards fly north of the Ohio River
and the crocuses begin to bloom. Until then, enjoy and all hail Ming, Bob,
and Fluffy!
And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
MonkeyBoi in the role of Joxer the Mighty. Watch Xena and Gabrielle pwn
him!
<music>"A Man for All http://youtu.be/et2G44-7C7U
</music>
--
The Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler of AUK
Congratualions, Sir Warhol, for losing in every category!
You have defended the honor of the fleet well!
Double-A
A mighty poor acceptance speech for your successful defense of the
Ministry of Circle Jerks, and you didn't even have the balls to post it
to AUK.

*BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK*
*BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK*
*BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK*
*BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK*
*BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK*
*BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK*
*BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK*
*BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK*
*BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK*
*BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK*
*BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK*
*BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK*
*BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK* *BAWK*
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Art Deco
2007-02-11 00:01:50 UTC
Permalink
On Feb 9, 2:00 am, Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler
<music>"20th Century Fox
http://youtu.be/ra_9kgqn7DQ
</music>
The time has come to announce the winners of the January 2007 Usenet
Kook
Awards. Envelopes, please!
<music>drumroll</music>
[...]
MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
The winner is...THE SAUCERHEADS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
16 votes The Saucerheads of alt.astronomy
11 votes The anti-porn-star crusaders of alt.gossip.celebrities
Congratulations, Profound Earth Science Officers! Whilst you all wait
for
the Seans to arrive so you can shag the hottest mermaids in space, keep
yourselves good and hard in preparation for their arrival.
This concludes the announcement of the winners of the January 2007
Usenet
Kook Awards. Forty-four people submitted fourty-one ballots. Five of
them
managed to violate the rules in interesting ways: two people voted from
an
altered ballot, one person voted for himself/herself, another voted for
himself/herself using an altered ballot (there's always a first for
everything) and one voted in the wrong thread. Fluffy was pleased with
the
shredded paper in his litter box. Consequently, thirty-nine ballots
were
deemed valid and counted.
See you all early next month, when the buzzards fly north of the Ohio
River
and the crocuses begin to bloom. Until then, enjoy and all hail Ming,
Bob,
and Fluffy!
And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
MonkeyBoi in the role of Joxer the Mighty. Watch Xena and Gabrielle pwn
him!
<music>"A Man for All http://youtu.be/et2G44-7C7U
</music>
--
The Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler of AUK
Congratualions, Sir Warhol, for losing in every category!
You have defended the honor of the fleet well!
Double-A
No problem Knight Double-A... They got the Trimbels, when I told them They
made of me a Super Hero in the eyes of others... when they had understood my
words of truth and their stupid errors, that made them change their mind at
the last moment... Ha ha ha The Trembels they got is the PROOF they Fear
Warhol, now even more than ever before...
But the Message was clear to them... Warhol will become Powerfull and come
atfer the Coffee Boy's... I remenber when I told this to Art... he could not
laugh when he Knew his stupid errors... and surly he had given secret orders
to his Clones to change the out come of the Vote... DONT MAKE WARHOL A
MARTYR... and that saved me from dishounor all over the Net... Ha ha ha
PS I told the coffee boy's they made of me a superhero, a work I myself
could never have done, all by own (What ofcourse was little warholian lie,
for the good outcome) and So I traped them to vote Otherwise... Let them
come here and say what I said is not true... But truth is I play with them,
and they dont even see it
You See clearly how they where voting before and after I slammed them in
their studid Heads.... Ha Ha Ha... ha ha ha
Thanks Knight Double-A for Your support... and My Honour is Saved from great
dishonor.
Warhol is a Champion... Just Like Wormie SkyWalker of StarWars serie... A
reel champion who dont has cold in his eyes, when he sees Coffee...
Second point now I have found some list turning around in the Usenet i will
publish here below... read it carefully.... This seem to be a Anti Coffee
Group too... but they Think Captian Nightbat is in the Coffee bizzness.. see
below
The War of Heaven aint over yet... the Only truth we al must not forget...
The Clones and Bots will meet their Master at the End of the Tail.
Ave Rome... Brutus is entering the Gates of the City... Run ... Run...
The Welch Lion of Judah.... Roaring like Never Before...
The screed monkeys eeeks again.
On Fri, 09 Feb 2007 03:56:28 GMT, George Hammond
==========NOTE:=======================
The following list has been culled from
off-topic, ad hominem, abusive messages
posted to Hammond's discussion of the
world's first scientific proof of God.
These people are considered by the
author to be a representative part of
THE USENET STALKERAZZI
people who use the internet for the
purposes of stalking and/or harassing
prominent scientists and intellectuals.
=====================================
[...]
========================================
SCIENTIFIC PROOF OF GOD WEBSITE
http://geocities.com/scientific_proof_of_god
http://proof-of-god.freewebsitehosting.com
GOD=G_uv (a folk song on mp3)
http://interrobang.jwgh.org/songs/hammond.mp3
========================================
Why are you spamming [hammond]'s haet lits, screed monkey?
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Cardinal Snarky of the Fannish Inquisition
2007-02-16 03:36:39 UTC
Permalink
On Sat, 10 Feb 2007 17:01:50 -0700, Art Deco sat in thee Comfee Chaire,
Post by Art Deco
"Double-A" a écrit...
<music>"20th Century Fox
http://youtu.be/ra_9kgqn7DQ
</music>
The time has come to announce the winners of the January 2007 Usenet
Kook
Awards. Envelopes, please!
<music>drumroll</music>
[...]
MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
The winner is...THE SAUCERHEADS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
16 votes The Saucerheads of alt.astronomy 11 votes The
anti-porn-star crusaders of alt.gossip.celebrities
Congratulations, Profound Earth Science Officers! Whilst you all wait
for
the Seans to arrive so you can shag the hottest mermaids in space,
keep yourselves good and hard in preparation for their arrival.
This concludes the announcement of the winners of the January 2007
Usenet
Kook Awards. Forty-four people submitted fourty-one ballots. Five of
them
managed to violate the rules in interesting ways: two people voted from
an
altered ballot, one person voted for himself/herself, another voted
for himself/herself using an altered ballot (there's always a first
for everything) and one voted in the wrong thread. Fluffy was
pleased with
the
shredded paper in his litter box. Consequently, thirty-nine ballots
were
deemed valid and counted.
See you all early next month, when the buzzards fly north of the Ohio
River
and the crocuses begin to bloom. Until then, enjoy and all hail Ming,
Bob,
and Fluffy!
And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big
w(h)inner, MonkeyBoi in the role of Joxer the Mighty. Watch Xena and
Gabrielle pwn him!
<music>"A Man for All
http://youtu.be/et2G44-7C7U </music>
--
The Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler of AUK
Congratualions, Sir Warhol, for losing in every category!
You have defended the honor of the fleet well!
Double-A
No problem Knight Double-A... They got the Trimbels, when I told them
They made of me a Super Hero in the eyes of others... when they had
understood my words of truth and their stupid errors, that made them
change their mind at the last moment... Ha ha ha The Trembels they got is
the PROOF they Fear Warhol, now even more than ever before...
But the Message was clear to them... Warhol will become Powerfull and
come atfer the Coffee Boy's... I remenber when I told this to Art... he
could not laugh when he Knew his stupid errors... and surly he had given
secret orders to his Clones to change the out come of the Vote... DONT
MAKE WARHOL A MARTYR... and that saved me from dishounor all over the
Net... Ha ha ha
PS I told the coffee boy's they made of me a superhero, a work I myself
could never have done, all by own (What ofcourse was little warholian
lie, for the good outcome) and So I traped them to vote Otherwise... Let
them come here and say what I said is not true... But truth is I play
with them, and they dont even see it
You See clearly how they where voting before and after I slammed them in
their studid Heads.... Ha Ha Ha... ha ha ha
Thanks Knight Double-A for Your support... and My Honour is Saved from
great dishonor.
Warhol is a Champion... Just Like Wormie SkyWalker of StarWars serie... A
reel champion who dont has cold in his eyes, when he sees Coffee...
Second point now I have found some list turning around in the Usenet i
will publish here below... read it carefully.... This seem to be a Anti
Coffee Group too... but they Think Captian Nightbat is in the Coffee
bizzness.. see below
The War of Heaven aint over yet... the Only truth we al must not forget...
The Clones and Bots will meet their Master at the End of the Tail.
Ave Rome... Brutus is entering the Gates of the City... Run ... Run...
The Welch Lion of Judah.... Roaring like Never Before...
The screed monkeys eeeks again.
==========NOTE:======================= The following list has been
culled from off-topic, ad hominem, abusive messages posted to Hammond's
discussion of the world's first scientific proof of God. These people
are considered by the
author to be a representative part of
THE USENET STALKERAZZI
people who use the internet for the
purposes of stalking and/or harassing prominent scientists and
intellectuals. =====================================
[...]
*ding*
*ding*
Post by Art Deco
Why are you spamming [hammond]'s haet lits, screed monkey?
<tips sombrer0> I don't know, but for once I don't object.
Art Deco
2007-02-11 00:03:22 UTC
Permalink
========================================
SCIENTIFIC PROOF OF GOD WEBSITE
http://geocities.com/scientific_proof_of_god
http://proof-of-god.freewebsitehosting.com
GOD=G_uv (a folk song on mp3)
http://interrobang.jwgh.org/songs/hammond.mp3
========================================
Hey! That's Hammond's list, and nightbat and I are still on it!
Double-A
P.S. Hammond doesn't really have me killfiled, because he gave a long
response to one of my posts not so long ago.
You forgot to congratulate fez-head for his anti-semitic racial bigotry
and hatred.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Art Deco
2007-02-11 00:05:13 UTC
Permalink
Clue daffy, Hammond has lack of brain logic producing cells,
and only his self confessed proof of hype worth overindulgence like the
rest of the coffeeboys. That you fell for his self grandiose iterations
concoctions says allot. Officer Warhol is a true man of faith, very rare
like my Science Team Glow Shirts and Caps.
Daffy Ducky
Are you aware they've taken the word gullible out of the dictionary, Captain?
nightbat
Are you aware taking quackies are not in the dictionary, daffy?
close the bird cage,
the nightbat
Coffeeboys - denying reality since day one -- nightbat
"Doctor, what do we do with these clueless auk orphans?"
"Put them with the rest of the born losers"
What? No post edit this time, frootbag?

And your sig is malformed, you profoundly ignorant rube.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Art Deco
2007-02-11 00:08:59 UTC
Permalink
nightbat
Not true Officer Warhol for it's a trap, cause Hammond of
sci.physics is a known mixed up lack of brains human brain god spewing
poor soul. You are per Puddles being lured into Hammonds net web of pure
denial.
warning to the wise,
the nightbat
Daffy Ducky
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
Now Nightbat is playing Admiral Ackbar!
nightbat
Clue Captain stowfiled caged daffy,
Liar, you wouldn't know what a killfile was if it bit you on the heel.
I am the net Light Knight
of legend foretold, diamond Officer Bee Dee bright and he who comes in
the night, the Science Research King called De Leon.
Liar. But please don't stop your little napoleon act on my account, it
is quite entertaining.
Officer Warhol is
still just a baby lion learning the ropes.
No, he's a delusional kook.
He is the reported son of the
pirate King of the Jolly Rogers.
Repeating a laughably false lie.
And you ducky are nothing but a self
admitted coffeeboy, nuff said.
Lamer.
get a life,
Oh the irony.
the nightbat
Coffeeboys - denying reality since day one -- nightbat
"Doctor, what do we do with these clueless auk orphans?"
"Put them with the rest of the born losers"
Lamer.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Art Deco
2007-02-11 00:11:28 UTC
Permalink
"How come we're not nominated any more ~ ?"
~ Twittering LSTOO & Folly IAG
nightbat
The auk clueless are coffeeboys and as such love only
themselves. Poor lost in net space retards but thankfully you're
overlooked sweet Lt. Twitty and folly.
Obsess much, frootbag?
at your service,
the nightbat
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Art Deco
2007-02-11 00:13:19 UTC
Permalink
"How come we're not nominated any more ~ ?"
~ Twittering LSTOO & Folly IAG
Feel lucky that you all and Raving have been exempted from this
juvenile, mean spirited, and time wasting game.
Double-A
Translation: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! MOMMEEEEEEEEEEY! MAKE THE BAD MEN
STOP!"
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Art Deco
2007-02-11 00:25:13 UTC
Permalink
Why am I not mentioned? Even if these awards are negative I still would
like to get top award in at lease one category. How about sentence
structure,poor english worse speller etc. Virtual life is not fair
Bert
nightbat
Don't worry Major Bert, those silly coffeeboy junk gene retards
with their Darla spawned curse to Earth humanity ridiculousness needn't
award nominate any profound Earth Science Team Member, for we are
intellectually exempt, only they don't know it cause they're so
clueless. Oh the humanity of it all!, we now being their Sean assigned
protective Earth overseers having to put up with such coffeeboy adult
lacking maturity delayed acting advanced gene DNA impregnated retardos,
sheesh!
Another load of frootbag lames, I shall be forced to leave usenet
forever now.
Be glad the inept leader Devo Bell Hops overlooked you, continue
*ding*
maintaining a low profile until the Darla Seans hopefully get here.
Hahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
that is all,
Captain nightbat
Ownership noted, napoleon.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Art Deco
2007-02-11 02:12:53 UTC
Permalink
So you agree with his (completely inaccurate) Celtic pronouncements and
his
antisemitism then loser?
Note: no response from any of the profound lamers.
Only Beert has the courage to call out Warty on his madness. Frootbag is
too
scared
--
I and Buddy Bert have made a Pact of the Bushfire... we live in peace as
good neighbors...
Dont try to put fire at our houses... it may explode in your face
"I'm Scared!" -- Bunn E. Rabbit
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
nightbat
2007-02-11 13:11:55 UTC
Permalink
BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
The winner is...ERNIE PRIMEAU!
13 votes Ernie Primeau
12 votes Warhol
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Ernie! It looks like the poster on alt.baldspot who is
getting "crazier and crazier" is you!
Oops! I forgot to transcribe a vote from my tabulation sheet to the post.
13 votes Ernie Primeau
12 votes Warhol
01 votes Neither of the above
This doesn't affect the outcome, but does better reflect an accurate
counting of all the ballots.
My apologies to the person whose vote I missed originally and my thanks to
that person for keeping me on my toes.
nightbat
Get this clueless auk trash off of profound science newsgroup
alt.astronomy and stop pestering my Science Research Team Officers with
your silly awards. Officer Warhol is one of the most illustrious Team
Officers I have and a net Chaplain to boot. Go elect yourselves auk bird
brains and leave my Green Knight profound Earth Science Team Officer alone.
get a clue,
the nightbat
Captain accepts his Bookman seconded for Nobel Prize award!
Coffeeboys - denying reality since day one -- nightbat
"Doctor, what do we do with these clueless auk orphans?"
"Put them with the rest of the born losers"
Art Deco
2007-02-11 16:10:08 UTC
Permalink
BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
The winner is...ERNIE PRIMEAU!
13 votes Ernie Primeau
12 votes Warhol
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Ernie! It looks like the poster on alt.baldspot who is
getting "crazier and crazier" is you!
Oops! I forgot to transcribe a vote from my tabulation sheet to the post.
13 votes Ernie Primeau
12 votes Warhol
01 votes Neither of the above
This doesn't affect the outcome, but does better reflect an accurate
counting of all the ballots.
My apologies to the person whose vote I missed originally and my thanks to
that person for keeping me on my toes.
nightbat
Get this clueless auk trash off of profound science newsgroup
alt.astronomy and stop pestering my Science Research Team Officers with
your silly awards. Officer Warhol is one of the most illustrious Team
Officers I have and a net Chaplain to boot. Go elect yourselves auk bird
brains and leave my Green Knight profound Earth Science Team Officer alone.
get a clue,
the nightbat
Captain accepts his Bookman seconded for Nobel Prize award!
Another lame post edit by diaperboi.
Coffeeboys - denying reality since day one -- nightbat
"Doctor, what do we do with these clueless auk orphans?"
"Put them with the rest of the born losers"
Your sig is still malformed, napoleon.

[cowardly froup sneck defeated]
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
Art Deco
2007-02-17 00:09:40 UTC
Permalink
Get this clueless auk trash off of profound science newsgroup
Pinky
You misspelled my name but my boyfriend Deco doesn't mind , Commander.
alt.astronomy and stop pestering my Science Research Team Officers
with your silly awards.
Pinky
Thank you very much for confirming my stupidity of my awarding you a
mother made Tinfoil Sombrero.
Officer Warhol is one of the most illustrious
Team Officers I have
Pinky
All the more reason to auk respect his achievements with rescinded
awards.
and a net Chaplain to boot.
Pinky
Oh, yes, the great Warhol, who issues prophesies out of his Officer duty.

Pleace to keep giving him lots of rank; it's most appropriate.
Go elect yourselves
auk bird brains and leave my Green Knight profound Earth Science Team
Officer alone.
Pinky
Sorry, Commander, but you've both just a nice respectful Captain and
most honorable Moor. With friends like you, Warhol ignors enemies.
get a clue,
Pinky
Before I replace my braces, I'll give you respect, Commander. If
you really know AUK is a shark tank, which seems to be the prevailing
opinion of the Officers among your crew, then you shouldn't mind when we,
dive into the water, and thrash and mutually boy gay play around.
the nightbat
Coffeeboys - denying reality since day one -- nightbat
"Doctor, what do we do with these clueless auk orphans?"
"Put them with the rest of the born losers"
Another post edit, and your sneckage game is defeated, napoleon.
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco

"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
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